A Lifetime Lost-- A Gears of War FanFiction
by DocStrkr
Summary: This story takes place during the Gears 4 time frame. My OC, Savannah, and all of our favorite Gears are involved. I am not a pro writer. I love my Gears, plain and simple. Thank you so much for reading! I will accept reviews, both good and bad. I do not own the GoW characters. **This story contains adult content!**
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The breeze blows the sheer curtains as thunder rumbles in the distance. The air is cool, yet warm enough to sleep with just a sheet. As the rain begins softly falling, Lt. Colonel Savannah Taylor turns to her husband, "Is the dog inside?" she asks while slipping into her leggings.

Savannah's husband points to his foot without looking up from his papers. He is dressed in his black combat uniform- black BDU pants, combat boots, and a black t-shirt. His armor is next to the front door. His right foot is sitting on top of his knee; his papers are in his lap. Savannah smiles as she recalls the first time she saw him across the courtyard at the CIC headquarters, or HQ. He was talking with Chairman Prescott and several Gears. She noticed Marcus Fenix and Dom Santiago. Damn, those two were the biggest men she had ever seen. Their muscular bodies, their battle-ridden faces, and Marcus' sneer were enough to scare the shit out of any new recruits.

Savannah turned away from her husband, called her dog to the bed, and climbed under the sheet. Her German Shepherd, Noldorin, jumped onto the bed and lay down at her feet. He was beautiful. He had mostly black fur, with bits of tan on his feet and chest. His ears had to be at least five inches tall. They were always straight up- constantly alert to anything out of place. He was extremely large for a German Shepherd- weighing in at 115 pounds, and almost four feet tall. He was also deadly. Savannah had trained him herself after she found him injured and alone. He was a loyal friend and a lethal guardian.

Savannah looked up at her husband. He was so handsome. The graying hair at his temples added to his authoritative appearance. He was tall, muscular, and confident. His 6'4" frame carried a hint of arrogance as well. His dark hair was always cut short, he always had a serious expression on his face, and his intelligence was palpable. Savannah was the only person who knew his softer side.

He was quiet, but constantly taking in everything around him. He was incredibly funny, but no Gear would describe him as humorous. They would probably call him a prick. Sure, he was an honorable man, but he took his job seriously. Joking while in uniform was not his style, and he was always in uniform- unless he was sleeping, showering, or at home. Most of the Gears referred to him as an "uptight asshole", but they respected him and his tactical expertise.

Savannah also knew he was kind, caring, and devoted. His trustworthiness, dedication, and nobility were some of the reasons Savannah had fallen in love with him. The fact that he was a rank above her didn't matter. Emergence Day had nullified any rules against their marrying. For some reason, Chairman Prescott and Colonel Hoffman knew they wouldn't be able to keep the two of them apart anyway, so there was no reason to try and forbid the relationship.

Savannah softly said his name, "Ezra, come to bed." Colonel Ezra Loomis looked up from his papers and smiled at his wife. "You're absolutely stunning. I will never understand why you married me." He stood up from their modest couch, walked over to the bed, and leaned in for a kiss. She stroked the goatee on his chin. "There's nothing to understand. You asked me to marry you, and I said yes." Savannah winked at him as he went around the end of the bed to sit on her opposite side. He removed his boots and uniform. He turned his head toward Savannah, "You're such a smart ass, but I wouldn't trade you for anything; not even peace with the locust."

Savannah smirked at him and said, "I think peace with the locust is the one thing I would demand you trade in exchange for me." Loomis slid under the sheet, scooted next to her, pulled her into his arms and said, "I would never give you up. I don't think I could breathe without you." Savannah put her arm across her husband's stomach, put her head on his chest, and closed her eyes. His scent was intoxicating. He smelled like carbonic soap and Lancer grease. He kissed the top of her head and ran his hand up and down her back. As she drifted off to sleep, he whispered, "I love you so much, Savannah. You will never be able to say you weren't cherished or adored. You're my life. The fact that you fell in love with me is a miracle."

Savannah awoke to the sound of her own scream. Marcus Fenix sat up next to her in the bed, put his hand on her neck and gently massaged the tense muscle. "It's okay, Savannah. It's just a dream. You're alright." Savannah turned to Marcus and threw her arms around his neck, practically climbing into his lap. The demons were out of their cages tonight. She always had the same dream about her husband. The last night he was alive.

The day after Loomis had told her how much he loved her, he was gone. Shot in combat and left to die in Halvo Bay. She could never get the image out of her head. Not only had she lost him in combat, she never got a chance to tell him about their baby.

She went into a locust battle without knowing she was pregnant. The same day Loomis' body was found, Savannah miscarried their unborn child. The hate she harbored toward herself would never diminish. If she had known she was pregnant, she would have asked to transfer to CIC. The injury she sustained during the firefight had killed her baby. A boomer had fired a rocket that landed just past her right side. The shrapnel from that rocket had embedded itself in her abdomen. Doc Hayman said there was nothing she could do to save the child. The last part of her husband was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Everyone who knew Savannah and Marcus were always amazed at the bond they shared. Nobody could explain it, not even Marcus and Savannah. They met at a briefing one day, and they had been connected ever since. There was nothing sexual about their affinity for one another. They just truly and deeply understood the other. They were kindred spirits. They simply "got each other".

Marcus was never one to show emotion or be touchy feely, but when Loomis died, he had essentially glued himself to Savannah, never letting her out of his sight. Luckily, Marcus' girlfriend Anya fully understood the bond between her boyfriend and the Lt. Colonel. She never became upset, jealous, or hateful toward either of them. Savannah had considered Anya to be one of her best friends. Anya had always told Savannah, "I'm glad he has someone to talk to. As long as he's not bottling it up, I don't care if he talks to every female left alive."

The dynamic between Marcus and Savannah had gradually changed in the past couple of months. Now that Anya and Loomis were gone, their relationship had slowly crossed over to something deeper than friendship. Especially since Marcus was forced back to the base after Jinn destroyed his home. The first person to notice the subtle change was Savannah's closest friend, Damon Baird. Savannah and Damon met decades ago when they both worked in the lab at LaCroix. They began sleeping together shortly after they were introduced. Baird was genius smart, even at the age of eighteen. Savannah once walked in on him tearing the innards out of her prototype engine for a new style of helicopter. The Kestrel wouldn't be put into service for several decades, but that didn't stop Baird from trying to co-create a unique machine.

"Don't think I won't break your fingers, Damon Baird." said Savannah.

"You only wish you could do that. You love me." Baird responded. Savannah put her hands on Baird's shoulders, leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "You only wish that were true," she said as she ran her hands down his chest and onto his stomach.

Baird turned around, grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her onto his lap. "We have work to do, Miss Taylor, and we'll get in serious trouble if we're caught making out in the lab." He slapped her on the ass and lifted her up.

Savannah climbed off Baird's lap and turned to her engine. "What exactly are you trying to do with this?" Baird walked around to the opposite side of the table and removed the timing chain. "I think this is going to present a serious issue once the engine gets hot. It may end up seizing, which- as I'm sure you know, will kill everyone when the helicopter crashes." Savannah smirked at Baird, took the chain and stared intently at the mechanism. "What if we designed the engine without a timing chain? I know your magical brain can figure out a way to make that happen."

Baird went to the bookcase and took a book off the shelf. As he opened it, an explosion sounded a short distance away. Savannah's eyes went wide and Baird came around to her side. "Let's get out of here. Now. Professor Elliot said there might be random attacks on the University." He took Savannah's hand and led her out to the armored vehicle that HQ had provided for her to use.

"Go straight to CIC and do not stop," said Baird. He leaned in, gave her a kiss and said, "You know I love you more than a greased drive-axle." He grinned and ran back into the lab. That was the last time Savannah saw Damon Baird until she came face to face with him after Adam Fenix ended the locust war.

The day Baird mentioned her relationship with Marcus, he told her he knew that she was falling in love with Marcus. "What in blazes makes you think that?" she countered. He pointed at her and said, "I can tell by the way you look at him. It's the same way you looked at Colonel 'I'm a prick' Loomis," he said as he poked her in the side. "It's the way you used to look at any dirty, old engine. The look of lust mixed with wonder and excitement." Savannah threw a screwdriver at him.

As Savannah turned to the workbench she said, "I hate when you're right. I do love him, but I don't think I'm _in_ _love_ with him. He will always be fully devoted to Anya. I don't want to intrude on that, Baird." She turned around toward Baird, leaning her low back against the workbench and crossing her arms. "I know the burning, empty pain of losing one of the only people I have ever loved." She reached down with her finger and traced the seam of her BDU pants. "That's not something that just goes away. My heart still aches for Loomis on a daily basis. Marcus eases that ache. He always has."

Baird's intense blue eyes stared at her from behind the shell of an engine. He started to say something, but seemed to change his mind. Savannah noticed his odd behavior. "Spit it out, Blue," she said, using her nickname for him. Baird tossed the screwdriver she had thrown at him, and it landed on the workbench with a thud. "What the hell am I, chopped liver?" He got up from the chair and came around to face her. He was standing close...too close. There was never any doubt that Savannah and Baird had serious chemistry. Cole used to tease them about being able to light up a small town with the electricity between them.

"I mean, you and I had a good thing. We were a scorching couple. We had great sex!" Baird took a step toward her, but Savannah took a step back. "Don't I do anything to ease your pain?" he said sarcastically. "I thought we were friends, Skinny." Baird's use of his nickname for her caused her stomach to flip. Savannah stepped to Baird's right and picked up a part for a lancer, rolling it between her fingers. "Baird, you will always have a place in my heart. You're my best friend." She looked up at him, reached out, took his face in both of her hands, and said, "but until you suffer the kind of loss that Marcus and I have suffered, it's not just about making it better-it's about truly understanding how it feels."

Savannah wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled Baird into a tight hug. He reluctantly put his arms around her, but when he did, Savannah could feel him holding her tightly. "I pray you never have to experience that kind of loss, Baird. Go home, kiss Sam, and hold her as close to you as you can." Baird let go of Savannah and turned to walk away. He turned around and said, "I'm sorry you're hurting, Savannah, and I'm glad you have Marcus." He walked back and stood in front of her again. "Just be careful with him, okay? Losing Anya almost destroyed him. He's like a brother to me, and I don't want to see either of you get hurt." He mock-saluted her and left the workshop.

Savannah was amazed at how much Baird had changed since she first met him over 40 years ago. He was sweet and kind when they first met, but she had heard stories of his sarcastic, cold-hearted exterior during the locust war. When Adam Fenix ended the war and things began to shift toward normal, Baird had called a buddy in Ephyra and discovered Savannah was still alive. He immediately asked Hoffman to have her transferred to Azura.

The day Savannah showed up, Baird dropped the box of parts he was carrying. She ran up to him, jumped into his arms and planted a kiss right on his lips.

Baird held her away from him, looked her up and down and said, "Damn, Skinny, you look as fine as wine!" Savannah grinned at him. "Well, Blue, you look good enough to eat." They had gone right back to their usual banter and engineering gibberish immediately.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Shortly after she had arrived at Azura, Savannah was working in Baird's garage. He came in and stood with his butt leaning on the workbench. He had that sheepish look in his eyes. Savannah stopped what she was doing and gave him her full attention. "What's wrong, Baird? You look like shit. What's on your mind?"

Baird picked up a metal screw and rolled it between his palms. "I think I might be in love with Sam Byrne." Savannah almost fell over. Baird was not one to voice his emotions. He was comfortable with it when Savannah first met him, but the years of war and loss had caused him to keep that stuff to himself. "Well, what's the problem?" Savannah asked as she walked around her desk and leaned on the workbench next to Baird. "She's obviously in love with you." Baird threw the screw behind him, and turned toward Savannah. "What if she wants marriage and babies and stuff? You know that's not my thing."

Savannah turned toward Baird and leaned her hip against the workbench. "First of all, Sam already told me she can't have kids, nor does she want them. She doesn't expect marriage, and what in blue hell do you mean by stuff?" Baird began to pace the floor in front of Savannah's desk. He was fidgety and seemed way too hyped up. "Like living together. What if she wants to move in together right away?" Baird picked up a loose oil pan screw, looked it over, and dropped it back on the bench.

"What is it that's really bothering you, Baird?" Savannah asked as she reached for her coffee. She poured a cup for Baird and handed it to him with a biscuit. "I don't know," he said with his mouth full. "I mean, I care about her, I know that much, but something is nagging at me. I should be smart enough to know what that something is." Savannah almost spit her coffee out. "Ummm, love is not an engineering problem, Damon." She giggled and he stuck his tongue out at her. "There's no manual or textbook that explains how to be in a relationship. So, that being said, I am going to ask you one more time, what is it that's really bothering you?"

Savannah went over and stood directly in front of Baird, making him look at her. Baird put his coffee down and popped the last bite of biscuit into his mouth. He stared at her while he chewed. He swallowed slowly, took a step toward her, and bent down until his face was an inch away from hers. He said, "You. You're the nagging problem."

Savannah took a step back, her mouth open in shock.

"Me? What the hell, Baird?" Savannah turned around, went to her desk and sat on the corner. When she looked up, she scowled at Baird. "This better be a damn good explanation, because I like Sam. I like her a lot, and I don't want her punching me in the face because you're being...being you." Baird started laughing and picked up his coffee cup. "Well, it's true. Ever since you came back here, all I can do is think about what might have been if you'd never married that asshole." Savannah stood up, walked over to Baird and slapped him.

"How could you say something like that to me!" She exclaimed. "You were the one that told me to go to hell. You said because you had been assigned to Bravo Squad, you didn't want me to wait around for you, and that you never really cared that much about me anyway." She stood, arms crossed, staring icily at Baird. He walked over to Savannah, put his hands on her shoulders and stared at her.

"Savannah," Baird said as he reached up and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "I cared enough to let you go. That doesn't mean I wanted to. Telling you that I never cared was the easiest way for me. It was selfish, I know." He let go of her and walked back over to the workbench. He leaned against the end and crossed his arms.

Savannah's blue eyes followed his every move. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Baird had never been one to be overly mushy when it came to emotions. He usually grunted or grinned. When the two of them were younger, he was much more verbally open, but the war had changed him. "I can't believe what I'm hearing! What is wrong with you?" she demanded. He stood up and let his hands hang at his sides. He could only narrow his eyes and wait for her to finish. She raised her eyebrows as if to prompt him to answer her. "I guess I just want to be sure I'm not letting a moment pass me by," he said.

Savannah felt like she had been slapped. All those years ago after they had first met, she knew Baird wanted to kiss her, but he always backed off. One night as they were talking over the electrical components of an APC door, they looked at each other, their mutual attraction causing their bodies to react from head to toe. Baird looked back down at the door. Savannah said to him, "Never let a moment pass you by, Blue. You might lose the chance forever."

He wouldn't look at her, and that infuriated her even more. Savannah scoffed at him and said, "I'm afraid your time for chances with me is gone, Baird. You came in here, not fifteen minutes ago, and told me you think you're in love with Sam. What the fuck are you doing thinking about a moment with me?" Baird pushed away from the worktable so fast, he knocked a pile of screws onto the floor. "I had to be sure, Savannah. Besides Sam, you are the only woman I have ever... cared for. You were my first love, and that's not something that just goes away, remember?"

Savannah stared at him in disbelief. Tears began to well up in her eyes, and she closed them to keep the tears from spilling over. Baird slowly approached her and opened his arms. She looked up at him, angrily wiping the tears from her cheeks. "You know, Baird, the day you left with Bravo Squad was one of the hardest days of my life; at least until Ezra died." Baird rolled his eyes at her mention of Loomis. He would never forgive that son-of-a-bitch for almost killing him. He never understood how Savannah could have fallen in love with him. She was too smart to fall for a dickhead like that.

"Savannah, you have always asked me to be honest with you, and that's what I'm doing." He took a step toward her, and sat next to her on the corner of her desk. "Am I in love with Sam? I'm not even sure I know how to answer that question. All I know is she makes me want to be better than I am. I can't imagine my life without her." He looked away from Savannah, but she leaned her head on his shoulder and said, "Do you think about her all the time? Does she make you laugh? Can you love her just based on conversations between the two of you? Can you look at her and know her thoughts, and vice versa?"

Baird leaned forward and put his forearms on his thighs. He let out a sigh and said to Savannah, "Yes to all of those. I'm giddy when I see her, and when she's next to me in bed, I feel...safe. I know that sounds dumb," he said as he stood up and started pacing. "I sound like a stupid kid," he said almost angrily. Savannah smiled at him as she reached out and put her hand on his arm. "No, Baird, you sound like a man in love. Now ask yourself, do you feel those same things for me?"

Baird's head snapped up and he stopped directly in front of her. "Not in the same way, I guess, but I don't want you disappearing into thin air again either." Savannah stood up, smacked Baird in the shoulder and said, "Well, that settles it then- you are officially in love with Sam Byrne." Baird laughed, rubbed his shoulder, and said, "Well thank God for that, because you're violent and I cherish this gorgeous face of mine." Savannah burst out laughing and reached out to hug Baird, but he grabbed her face in both of his hands and kissed her. Her stomach flipped and her body started tingling.

She pulled away from Baird and gaped at him. "What the hell did you do that for?" she said as she sat back down on the corner of her desk. "Didn't we just agree that you're in love with Sam?" Baird shrugged his shoulders and said, "I didn't let the moment pass me by." He winked at her and she kicked him in the shin. "Get out of here, you bastard, and go tell Sam how you feel." Baird began to walk away, but turned back to Savannah and said, "I did it because I had to be sure about Sam. I like you, Skinny, but her kisses feel... different." Savannah smiled at him and waved him out with both of her hands.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Savannah was jerked out of her memory by a hand on her shoulder. When she looked up, Marcus was looking at her with his usual blank stare. His ice blue eyes were intently staring at her. "You okay?" he asked. Savannah stood up and stretched. She was almost six feet tall, but it always felt as if Marcus dwarfed her. His biceps were almost as big as her waist, and he always stood awkwardly with his hands at his side, his fingers slightly clenched.

"Yeah, I was thinking about the day Baird admitted he was in love with Sam." Marcus grunted and blinked his slow blink. That look always indicated something was bothering him, although he would never initiate a conversation about whatever was on his mind. Savannah didn't need him to say anything. She already knew what was eating at him. She put her arms around his waist and put her head on his chest. He awkwardly put his arms around her. She felt him let out a long breath. The comfortable silence and easy feeling between them almost kept her from saying what she knew was causing his stress. "Anya?" was all she managed to whisper when she felt him stiffen in her arms.

She tightened her grip around his waist and looked up at him. He was staring into her eyes, but looked like he would run if she let go of him. They stood staring at each other for a few seconds. Marcus said, "Yeah, it's always Anya." Savannah gently rubbed his back. He began to relax and she let go of him. Marcus dropped his hands back to his side. Savannah stepped around him, and pushed herself onto the workbench, her legs dangling. She began swinging them back and forth, as Marcus turned toward her. "Marcus, I don't want you to think it hurts me that you think about her. In fact, I would be concerned if you _didn't_ think about her. She was your wife and the mother of your only child. I wouldn't expect you to forget her."

Marcus crossed his arms and let out a sigh. "It's not fair to you. I can't give you what you need." Savannah scoffed at him. "What is it exactly that you think I need?" Marcus picked up a pen from her desk and began to examine the tip. "You deserve to be happy, Savannah, and I can't give you that." He threw the pen back on the desk and looked up at her. "You deserve to laugh, have fun, and feel safe. I'm not a talker. I'm not a cuddly kind of person. Hell, I barely know how to get out of bed half the time." Savannah crooked her finger and waved him over. Marcus slowly walked up to where she was sitting on the workbench. Savannah had lightning fast reflexes, and she reached out with both of her legs and pulled Marcus to her. She kept her legs wrapped around his waist as he stared at her with a look of fear and shock. "Marcus Fenix, you and I have known each other for more than forty years. We've been through a lot together." She unwrapped her legs from Marcus' waist and replaced them with her hands. She pulled him close to her and looked into his eyes. "You know I have no expectations of any kind. You know I don't expect anything from you, other than what we already share. You and I have something deep and special, and the only thing I _need_ from you is what you already give me."

Marcus blinked slowly as Savannah moved her hands up around his neck. Marcus put his hands on top of her thighs. "Someday, I hope you'll allow yourself to let me make you as happy as _you_ deserve to be. I'm comfortable with what we have now, and I'm not even sure what that is, Marcus. All I know is I can't be without you in my life, no matter in what capacity that might be." Savannah felt the tears forming in her eyes. Marcus leaned his forehead against hers and exhaled slowly. "Me either," he said as he pulled her into a hug. They stayed that way for a couple of minutes until Marcus' radio crackled with a call from CIC.

Savannah raised her snub pistol and aimed at the target hanging 200 feet away. She emptied the magazine into the paper. She reloaded and let loose again. She might be 62 years old, but she had never lost her ability to be lethal with a weapon. After all, she was an Onyx Guard. However, Emergence Day had catapulted her into the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. She still had her special forces training, and used it often when training new recruits. When she had burned through her ammo, she began field stripping her weapon to clean it. "Nice try, Cole, but I don't think you will ever be able to sneak up on anybody." Cole walked up and playfully smacked her in the shoulder.

Savannah grunted and rubbed her arm. "Jesus, Cole. I do need that arm, ya know." Cole guffawed and sat down on a stool across from Savannah. "You are obviously pissed off about somethin'. You need the Cole Train's expert psychological services?" Savannah smiled and let out an exasperated sigh. "Is there a way to tell Baird he was right without his ego blowing up any bigger than it already is?" Cole laughed and said, "Nope! You just gotta tell him and suffer the consequences." Savannah rolled her eyes and grimaced at the thought. "I think I'd rather take a torque bow round to the stomach." Cole bent over laughing, slapping his knee at Savannah's joke.

"Good luck with that. What was he right about? Maybe you can avoid telling him."

Savannah bent down and put her goggles and ear protection back into her range bag. "Not this time, Cole. He's my best friend. I can't keep this from him." she leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms. "He'll just bug the piss out of me until I tell him anyway, so I might as well just come out with it." Cole stared at her for a few seconds before he said, "Is this about our beloved Delta leader?" Savannah sat straight up and practically yelled at Cole, "He can't keep his damn mouth shut about anything, can he?" Cole just shook his head, tapped his chest and said, "Best friend. He can't keep anything from me either, ya know?"

Savannah put her head in her hands and growled. "He's so infuriating!" Cole chuckled and leaned over to Savannah. "All I know is that keeping serious stuff to yourself is not healthy. It will eat you alive, L.T." Cole patted her knee and stood up. Savannah decided Cole was right. She went to Baird's workshop to talk to him, but found it dark and empty. As she turned to go back to her house, she felt the hair stand up on the back of her neck. She was suddenly aware of someone watching her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

As she glanced up, Savannah saw JD Fenix staring at her. She gave him a small wave. He smiled and waved back. Kait was standing next to him, her arm linked with his. She also smiled and waved at Savannah. What the hell, she thought. JD deserved to know about her and Marcus, whatever there was to know. JD never asked questions, but she knew he must be curious. After all, Marcus spent more time at Savannah's house than he did his own. Then again, most of Marcus' property-more importantly-Anya's property, was pretty much demolished. Baird had done his best to have the construction bots repair the house, but it was slow work with the increase in wind-flares.

Savannah slowly made her way over to JD and Kait. She smiled broadly as she reached out to hug Kait. "How goes it, young ones?" Savannah asked casually. JD shook her hand and said, "Same old, same old, L.T." He was smiling, but she could tell he had something to say. "JD, I think you and I need to talk." JD stepped back and said, "Yep! I think we do." Kait took JD's hand in hers and said, "I know the perfect place." Savannah followed behind as Kait led the way to the old lookout point behind Baird and Sam's house.

The lookout was a high hill with soft grass and clover everywhere. Baird had managed to keep old cars, parts, and anything else he might find useful off the grass. Savannah would bet all she had that Sam had something to do with the untouched land. They found a spot close to the top, and Savannah sat down with her legs out straight, leaning back on her hands. JD and Kait sat close to each other, JD's hand on Kait's knee. "So," JD started, "What's up with you and my Dad?"

Kait smiled as Savannah sighed and said, "Well, I'm not sure what's up with us, JD. It's...complicated." He laughed sarcastically and said, "Anything where my Dad is concerned is complicated." Savannah half-smiled and picked at a clover. "Yes, your dad is complex, but he's an extraordinary man. You just have to get past his rough exterior." "Ha ha!" JD sneered, "It would take a miracle for that man to let me in. You must be doing something right, because he sure as hell has no problem spilling his guts to you."

Savannah felt as if she had been punched in the chest, and the way he glared at her made Savannah feel like a shit heel. She knew the relationship between Marcus and his son was rocky at best, but she was determined to help JD understand his father's guarded emotions. She sat up straight, pulled her legs under her, and put her forearms on her thighs. "Years ago when my husband died, your dad was there for me in a way nobody else could be, not even Baird." Savannah could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Your Mom and dad were not together at the time. They had called things off for some reason, but I don't remember what it was." She hesitated as the tears grew closer to the surface. She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat.

"The night my husband was killed, I was home alone. I didn't want to be around anyone, or have to hear all of the 'I'm so sorry for your loss' or 'I'm here if you need me' bullshit. I wanted my husband back. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to kiss him. I started drinking whiskey, but I didn't stop. I just kept going, and I didn't care what happened."

Savannah stopped again to gather her thoughts. She rubbed her hands on top of her thighs and focused on the clover. When she looked up, JD was watching her and Kait had tears in her eyes. "I hid out in the house with my German Shepherd. I drank for almost four days straight. I still didn't give a shit what happened. I was dead inside. I know it sounds dramatic, but that man was the love of my life, JD, and losing him made me want to die too." The tears finally escaped, and Savannah reached up and wiped them off her cheeks. Kait wiped tears from her own cheeks as well.

Savannah could see JD in her peripheral vision, and she could tell he was captivated by her story. "One night, someone knocked on the door. When I opened it, there stood your Dad." JD's eyes widened and he reached for Kait's hand. "I fell into his arms, started sobbing, and slid to the floor. I pretty much collapsed at his feet. He picked me up in his arms and took me to the bed. He tucked me under the covers and sat there in a chair until I sobered up. It took about 24 hours and some serious vomiting until I was close enough to normal." Kait smiled, and reached for Savannah's hand. She gently squeezed it and then put her hand back in JD's.

"So my Dad played hero again. I'm shocked," JD said. Savannah watched him for a few seconds until he started to squirm under her best Drill Sergeant look. He finally said, "Sorry. Go ahead." Savannah stared at the grass for a few moments. When she looked up at JD, she saw that he really did seem interested in her story, no matter how much he tried to look like he couldn't care less. "All I ask is that you just listen to what I have to tell you. After that, you can do whatever you want with the information, okay?" JD nodded, and leaned his chin on the palm of his hand, prompting Savannah to continue her tale.

"After about three days, your Dad told me I was going to go outside and get some air. He knew they were still looking for Ezra's body, but somehow-as always-your Dad knew what was best for me. He's a highly intuitive person, whether you want to believe that or not. Trust me, kiddo- your Dad understands you better than you think he does." JD rolled his eyes at Savannah, but didn't say anything. Kait chuckled, and bumped her shoulder into his.

"We went for a walk and let Noldorin get some exercise. That night, your Dad made sure I was fed and comfortable before he told me he was going home. He didn't want to intrude on my grief, you know? He made sure I was situated in bed before he left. He was sitting on the edge of the mattress, and I reached out and grabbed his forearm and begged him to stay with me." Savannah switched her position, and took a drink of water from her canteen. "He said he would, and when he went to get up, I grabbed him and I kissed him." When JD heard this, he sat up straight and his mouth dropped open. "You kissed my Dad?" He looked like someone had shocked him with a jolt of electricity.

"Yes, I kissed your Dad." She chuckled at how innocent he sounded, like a child. "The few days he'd stayed there after he found me drunk, he either slept on the couch or on top of the covers in bed, because I was having the same nightmare over and over. Lord knows your dad has suffered his own share of nightmares, so he knew that waking up with somebody there was a good thing. But that night, he didn't sleep on the couch or on top of the covers." Savannah raised her eyebrows to make sure JD understood what she was saying. Kait gasped and looked at JD to see his reaction. Savannah was expecting any possible reaction from Marcus' son; anger, laughter, disbelief, anything.

JD looked as if he was zoned out. He had a blank stare on his face, and his eyes appeared unfocused. Kait reached over and touched his face. He jerked like had been stung by a bee. "He cheated on my Mom?" he asked incredulous. "No, he did not cheat on your Mom," said Savannah. "They weren't together at the time. I knew he still loved her, and I knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up back together, but" Savannah reached over and put her hand on top of JDs. He didn't move, but he was almost glaring at her. "I will not make excuses, nor will I apologize for what happened between your Dad and me. I will say this- I needed Marcus that night, and he knew I needed him. We've never really needed to talk when we're together. We have a very comfortable disposition; we always have."

Savannah pulled her hand back and leaned back against the soft grass. "When I woke up the next morning, he was gone. When I went to make coffee, I found a note on the counter. It simply said, 'I know '." More tears fell on Savannah's cheek, and she sniffled. JD sat there staring at Savannah. Kait waved her hand in front of his face, but he still didn't react. Finally, Savannah said, "Say something, James." He finally focused his eyes on her face. When he spoke, it was almost a whisper. "Did you tell my Mom?" When Savannah looked at him, she could see his eyes beginning to water. "Yes, your Dad and I both sat down and told her what happened. I took full responsibility for asking him to stay, and told her she had every right to feel angry, hurt and betrayed." JD grabbed Kait's hand and said, "What did she say? Was she pissed?"

Savannah giggled and shook her head. "No, your mom was an incredible woman. She didn't say anything at first. She hugged us both and told us that she couldn't have two better people in her life. After Marcus left, she and I talked more about it. She understood that it wasn't about sex. It was about need, intimacy, and togetherness." Savannah sat staring at JD while he processed everything he had just heard. "I don't know how else to explain it to you," she said. She hung her head to try to control the heaviness of the memory. "You don't have to explain it," said Kait. Savannah was surprised by Kait's interjection into the conversation. Kait turned to JD and whispered to him, "The night my mother died." That was all she needed to say. JD smiled at her and leaned in for a kiss. "I understand," was all he whispered back to her.

JD looked back at Savannah and asker her, "Do you love my dad?" Savannah took a deep breath, looked JD in the eyes and said, "Yes, but he will always be devoted to your mother, and that is not something I will ever try to take away from him." JD smiled at her and said, "He seems relaxed when he's with you, and I'm okay with that, I guess." Savannah smiled at him and leaned back against her range bag. JD pointed at her and said, "Just don't let him forget about her." Savannah sat back up and scooted closer to JD. "I would never let that happen, JD. Never. I know exactly how it feels to lose your one true love, and that's the main reason your dad and I are so close."

She picked at a clover, pulling off the purple flowers. "He and I just sort of fell into whatever this is between the two of us. He and I don't even know what it is. All we know is that it doesn't feel wrong. He'll never let me forget Loomis, and I sure as hell won't let him forget about Anya. She was a magnificent woman and completely unforgettable." They stood up and Savannah was caught off guard when JD reached out and hugged her. "Thanks for telling me everything. I guess I've never put myself in his shoes where Mom's concerned." Savannah put her hand on his elbow and said, "You experienced her loss as a son. It's's completely different than experiencing that loss as a husband. He's loved her for over forty years. Nothing will ever change that." He nodded his head, put his arm around Kait and said, "We'll see you later, L.T."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"You son-of-a-bitch! How could you!" she screamed. Loomis ducked as his wife threw a six pound APC part straight at his face. He knew she was capable of seriously injuring him, so he moved quickly across the room from her. "Savannah, please calm down. Let's talk about this." Savannah glared at him as she crossed the room and punched him square in the jaw. "How does that feel, you bastard?" She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at her husband. Loomis rubbed his jaw as he stepped backwards to avoid his wife's wrath.

"I can't believe you!" she shouted. "We talked about this. You promised you wouldn't do anything to him. You promised me, Ezra." She stood with her legs apart, her arms crossed. Loomis could tell she was furious, and deep down, he was scared to approach her. It also hurt that she was this pissed off about Damon Baird. He knew if he hadn't told her what he'd done, she would only hear it from someone else, and then she would be really enraged.

"Savannah, please, we have to talk about this. As commanding officer, I cannot allow my men to disobey my orders. If I do, bad things can happen to more Gears than just Damon Baird." Savannah scowled at him. "Don't you dare give me that commanding officer bullshit! You used this tribunal as an excuse to get rid of the one man you find threatening to you!" She took a couple of steps toward him. He held his hands up to keep her from hitting him again. "Yes I did!" He yelled at her. The shocked and hurt look in her eyes made him want to punch himself in the face.

She turned her back to him and started to cry. "Why isn't my word good enough for you, Ezra?" She turned toward him, dropped her hands to her sides, and watched him. He took a step toward her, but she held out her hand. "Don't touch me," she said through gritted teeth. Loomis stood still, watching his wife's tears fall to the floor. "Your word _is_ good enough." She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "It's me, Savannah. I have never understood why an extraordinary woman like you would even look twice at me, let alone fall in love with me. I never dreamed you would say yes when I proposed" He ran his hand through the silver hair at his temples as he paced the floor in front of Savannah.

Loomis looked at his wife, his eyes pleading with her to try to understand why he had done what he'd done. "The first day I saw you, I knew my life would never be the same. I prayed and asked the God of Sera to allow me to be in the same room with you at least once a day. I knew you and Baird had a history, and I knew you still loved him, but I didn't care as long as I could be around you." He looked up at Savannah and saw her eyes filling with more tears. "Please come here, Savannah. Let me try and explain this to you." Savannah wiped the tears from her cheeks and begrudgingly approached her husband. She sat on the arm of the couch as he sat down on the opposite cushion and put his feet up on the couch.

"I knew I was in love with you long before that first night I kissed you, but in my mind, I was still competing with Baird. I saw the way you still looked at him. I could tell you still had feelings for him, and I didn't know how to handle that." Savannah's forearms were on her thighs and she was still glaring at him. She tilted her head sideways at him and said, "How does this excuse you holding a gun to Baird's head and punching him in the face? Not to mention almost shooting and killing Garron Paduk?"

Loomis dropped his head and let out an exasperated sigh. "I have no good reason, okay? Not one. I was pissed that all of them disobeyed my orders, and yes- I knew it was a chance to get rid of Baird for good. The only thing I can tell you is that I love you so fucking much, Savannah, and I will do anything, and I mean _anything_ \- to hold onto you and what we have." He reached out for her hand, but she ignored him. He stood up and walked toward her. She moved so fast that he almost fell over. "I told you don't touch me," she hissed at him. The cold and icy look in her eyes caused Loomis to sink slowly to the couch. He looked up at her. She turned and walked out the door. For the first time in his life, Ezra Loomis allowed himself to cry. "Oh God, what have I done?" he whispered to himself. Noldorin came over and put his head in Loomis' lap.

Savannah went to the bar next to CIC. Baron the bartender walked over and said, "You look like shit, L.T. What's your poison?" Savannah didn't even hesitate, "The strongest gut rotting shit you have, Baron." He raised his eyebrows at her and turned to pour her drink. Savannah rubbed her temples and tried to calm herself down. Why was she so angry with her husband? Did she really have feelings for Baird, or was it the fact that Loomis had broken his promise to her? Before she could answer those questions, Dom Santiago sat down next to her. He was huge. The bulging muscles in his arms could crush anything or anyone.

"Sup, L.T.?" he asked as Baron brought Savannah's whiskey and a beer for Dom. "I'm pissed off at my husband and now I'm drinking. What about you?" she asked as Dom picked up his beer and tilted it toward her. She tilted her glass back at him. "I'm waiting for Marcus. We had a hell of a fight today at the Museum. He and I are going to find Anya and play some cards." Savannah turned toward him and said, "Sounds like fun. I'm glad you're all okay. I heard that was a pretty rough fight." Dom scoffed, "Yeah, and thanks to that Lightmass bomb, we're here to tell the tale." Savannah choked on her whiskey. "You mean the Lightmass bomb that Lt. Baird launched from Halvo Bay?"

Dom took a drink of his beer. "I guess. Whoever did it saved our asses." Savannah took a sip of her whiskey and let out a long breath. "Why are you so mad at Loomis?" Dom asked as he took another swig of beer. "Did he leave the toilet seat up?" She laughed and shook her head. "No, he almost killed someone very important to me, after he promised he wouldn't do anything rash." She told Dom the entire story. For some reason, it was like talking to a big brother. When she finished, Dom said, "Wow, it sounds to me like he really loves you and is terrified of losing you. That's a hard thing to find, L.T." Savannah looked down at her drink. "Marriage is about love and forgiveness." he continued. "You're lucky to have him. Some of us lost our one true love." Dom got up and put his hand on her shoulder. "See ya later, L.T. Good luck."

Savannah walked back to the modest home she shared with her husband. The small bedside lamp was on, and Noldorin was in the window wagging his tail. As she opened the door, Loomis appeared from their tiny kitchen. He was in sweat pants and a t-shirt. He practically ran to her and picked her up in his arms, "Thank God you're okay!" he said as he set her back down on the floor.

He looked down at her and started to say, "Please forgive me. I can't live without you! I'll do what-" Savannah threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. She bit his bottom lip as he wrapped his fingers in her long hair. She reached down, grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt, and pulled it over his head. He pulled her tank top over her head and kissed the sensitive space between her neck and shoulder. She moaned and pushed him toward the bed. He fell backwards and she straddled him. He sat up and started kissing her again, his tongue running lightly over her lips. Her body was beginning to tingle, and she threw her head back as he took her hard nipple in his mouth.

Savannah pushed him back on the bed and ran her tongue down his chest, into the trail of hair that disappeared into his pants. She ran her fingernails along his sides, causing him to arch his back and let out a low growl. He flipped her over onto her back, and held her hands down next to both sides of her head. She laced her fingers in his and arched her back to allow him access to her aching breasts. She needed this man. She wanted this man. She couldn't wait for him to be inside her. She pulled her legs up as he pulled off his pants. She removed her jeans. He looked into her eyes as she wrapped her legs around him again and he pushed into her. She took his face in her hands and said, "Don't you ever doubt that I am in love with you, Ezra Loomis. I can't live without you either." They made love all night as though it was their first time together.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The morning after her talk with JD, Savannah awoke with a headache. She opened her eyes and found Marcus staring at her. She smiled up at him. He was wearing a tank top and BDU pants. She stretched and said to him, "I told JD about the night we slept together for the first time." Anger flashed in Marcus' eyes and he stiffened. "What the hell did you do that for?" he said as he turned his back to her and put his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees. Savannah sat up and put her head on his shoulder. "I told him because he has a right to know. He's not stupid, Marcus. He knew something was going on between us." Marcus got up and started slowly pacing the floor. His hands were clenching and unclenching. Savannah asked him, "What's wrong? You can't be this upset that I told him something he already knew."

Marcus turned to face her. When Savannah reached out to take his hand, he stepped away from her. "Marcus, please. Talk to me," she said as she scooted to the edge of the bed. With his back to her, Marcus said, "I don't want him to think I've forgotten his mother, or that I never loved her." Savannah almost laughed with relief. "You don't have to worry about that. He and I talked about that as well." Marcus turned toward her and sat down on the edge of the mattress. "What did he say? Is he angry? Does he understand that I will always love her? Is he alright with...this?" he said as he looked around the room. Savannah chuckled, fell back on her pillow and said, "Slow down, Fenix. You're going to make me dizzy with all of these questions."

Marcus lay down next to Savannah and turned on his side to face her. She reached out and touched his beard. It looked wiry and itchy, but it was cotton soft. His blue eyes watched her. She felt her stomach flip and her body start to get warm. She knew her attraction for Marcus was more than just chemistry. She was in love with him- body, heart, and soul, but now was not the time to bring it up. She knew she needed to calm him down. "When JD and I talked yesterday, I explained everything to him. I told him that I begged you to stay with me that night, and that you and I told Anya what happened." Marcus almost flinched when she said Anya's name. "He knows that you two weren't together at the time, and he was relieved to know she wasn't pissed or hurt." She scooted closer to him. "In fact, he says you seem relaxed when you're with me, and he's okay with that. He guesses." She chuckled at her own silliness.

Marcus closed his eyes and sighed. "I wish I wasn't angry at myself. I wish I had said no." Savannah froze and dropped her hand. He couldn't have hurt her more if he had slapped her. Tears formed in her eyes, and Marcus' eyes widened. He realized what he had said. He reached out and touched his fingertips to hers. "I'm sorry," he said softly. He reached up and wiped the tear off Savannah's cheek. "I may not have been with Anya at the time, but I still felt guilty for that night. She never mentioned it when we were back together. I was angry with myself because I thought she forgave me only because she didn't want me to push her away again. She just wanted to be with me, no matter what I did to her; how I treated her."

Savannah sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "She forgave you because she loved you, Marcus. It had nothing to do with forgiving you for the sake of keeping you. She loved you to her core and us spending one night together-especially since you weren't a couple at the time, did not change her love for you."

Marcus turned onto his back. Savannah snuggled her body up against his. He put his arms above his head; his hands were under his neck. He closed his eyes and whispered, "I miss her so goddamned much." Savannah put her arm across his waist and hugged him tight. "I know you do," she said. "I know exactly how you feel, but don't forget to live in _this_ moment, Marcus." She sat up on her elbow and looked down at him. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "She's not the only woman who has ever loved you."

His eyes went wide for a split second, but then the look in them softened. They stayed still for a few seconds, staring intimately at each other. Marcus suddenly rolled her onto her back and pushed himself up so he was looking down at her. Savannah gasped and put her hands on his arms. Marcus leaned down and gently kissed her. Savannah's eyes were still closed when he pulled away from her. She felt him lower his lips to her neck. He kissed her just behind her ear and ran his lips along her jaw line. The feeling of his beard gave her goose bumps. She shuddered at his soft touch. She opened her eyes and saw him watching her. She gave him a mischievous smile and said, "You're not the only one who can do that, you know." Marcus cocked his head and said, "Do what?" In a lightning fast movement, Savannah rolled Marcus over on his back. She was holding him down with her hands pushed hard into his muscular chest. His look of surprise made her smile at him and she whispered, "Special forces remember? I'm trained to take down big men."

She tightly straddled his groin. He moved his hands up her legs and let them sit on her hips. She lifted the bottom of his tank top and slowly pushed it up to his chest. As she slid his shirt up, she ran her nails along his tight abdominal muscles. He took in a sharp breath, but never took his eyes off her. She leaned down and placed soft kisses across his stomach and just above the top of his pants. She felt his fingers tighten on her hips. She slid back up his chest and looked down at him. His pupils were dilated, and his breathing had picked up. She bent down and kissed him as softly as he had kissed her. He wrapped his arms around her and rolled her back over. He took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. His ice blue stare caused her stomach to tighten and her nipples to harden.

Savannah pushed her hips up into Marcus' pelvis. He closed his eyes and exhaled a low groan. When he opened his eyes and looked down at Savannah, she could swear she saw tears. She wrapped her fingers around his wrists. He kissed her again, but this time- there was more urgency. He raised his head and softly said, "I'm so afraid, Savannah. I have so much baggage, and I don't know how to handle all of it." She kissed him and wrapped her legs around him. "We'll handle it together. You don't have to do everything alone, and you don't have to hide from me. I am not fragile, Marcus, and I don't need you to protect me. All I need is for you to be right here, right now- in _this_ moment."

Marcus kissed her hard. He bit her bottom lip and moved to nip at her neck. Savannah reached down and unbuckled his duty belt. She undid the button of his pants and ran her fingers just inside the top of his briefs. She ran her tongue up his neck and across his lips. Marcus sat up and reached for her leggings. He pulled them off at her feet. Savannah sat up on her knees and pushed his BDU pants down to his thighs. He pulled them the rest of the way off. He gently pushed Savannah back down onto the mattress. She ran her fingers through his hair and stroked his beard. "Your beard is so soft", she said. He kissed her again and ran his beard over her collarbone. She arched her back and wrapped her arms around him.

They were skin to skin, and the intensity between them was almost overwhelming. The tight feeling in Savannah's belly was slowly heading south. Marcus tenderly took her breast in his hand and bent his head to tease her nipple with his beard. Her nipples hardened and she softly moaned. She ran her hands up to his shoulders and down his back. She used her nails and he growled in her ear. He lifted up on his elbows and said, "I can't love you the way you need me to. This isn't fair to you." Savannah grabbed his face in her hands, kissed him and said, "Live in _this_ moment, Marcus. The rest will fall into place the way it's meant to be."

He watched her face as he entered her. The way her eyes closed, and her soft moans made Marcus forget about everything but the two of them, and how right it felt to be with her. The fear and guilt seemed to slip away the longer they made love. Afterwards, Marcus held her close, breathing in the scent of her hair. Her head was on his chest. She turned her head and kissed him. "By the way, you're wrong," she said. He squinted his eyes at her. "You are very much a cuddly kind of guy." He chuckled and shook his head. He normally didn't do this type of after sex cuddling, but something about this time felt different. _He_ felt different. The two of them stayed entwined for a few more minutes until Savannah sat up and said, "We have a briefing to get to, Sergeant Fenix." Marcus threw the blanket off him and said, "Shit."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

JD jogged up to Baird and, out of breath, asked, "Have you seen my dad or the L.T.?" Baird didn't even look up at JD, "They're probably doing the horizontal mating dance. Why?" JD laughed and said, "Do you have to be so gross?" Baird turned to JD. "I mean, Jesus Uncle Baird, that's my Dad and my C.O. that you're talking about." Baird shrugged, turned back to his machine and said, "I honestly don't know. Did you ask Rossi? He might have seen them." JD turned toward HQ and saw Cole walking across the courtyard. He had his arm around his wife Aurelie and they were laughing. "Hey Uncle Cole, have you seen my dad or the L.T.?" JD yelled. Cole shouted back, "No, baby, can't say that I have! There's a briefing at 1100 hours. I'm sure they'll be there."

Just as JD turned to go back to Kait's, he saw Marcus and Savannah walking from the mess hall. Savannah waved to him, and Marcus nodded to his son. "What's going on, James?" said Marcus as JD jogged up to them. Savannah could see the anxiety in JD's face. It caused her to become highly alert and focused. "The swarm were lurking around here last night. I saw them and Kait heard them." Marcus started looking beyond the outer wall, his body language changing with his concern. Savannah took off to talk to Baird. Marcus stopped her. "Savannah," she turned at the sound of his voice. "Be careful, and don't let him start a panic. You know how he is." Savannah said, "Gotcha" and jogged over to Baird.

Baird heard her coming and from behind his watch-bot he said, "I don't want to hear about you and Marcus and your sexcapades." Savannah rolled her eyes and said, "Shut up, Blue, and listen." Baird stood up at the urgency in her voice and wiped his hands on a towel. "The swarm were here last night. I think you should consider closing the outer wall until we figure this out." Baird nodded his head. "I'll have Control do it right now. God knows I'd hate to get blamed if any kiddos get eaten." Savannah gave him a dirty look and said, "That's not even close to being funny, Damon. These bastards are relentless, sneaky and you know damn well how hard they are to kill. The people in this city and on this base are not prepared to handle this shit."

Baird waved his hand at her like he was swatting at a bug. "Alright, alright. I get it. Where's Marcus? I'm sure he's going to put together a plan to lock this place down." Savannah looked back at Marcus and JD and could see they were having an intense conversation. "Uh oh", said Baird, "Let's hope JD isn't asking his old man for bedroom pointers." Savannah turned around and smacked Baird in the chest with the back of her hand. "Come on, Baird, now is not the time for your bullshit! Where's Sam?" Baird pushed on his radio button. "Hey Sam, where are you? Can you come to the courtyard?" He looked sideways at Savannah and said, "She was at the cliffs this morning." All Baird could hear was static. Savannah heard it in her ear too. She and Baird exchanged a look, and both of them took off running. As they passed Marcus and JD, Savannah said to Marcus, "Sam's not responding. She was out at the cliffs this morning." Marcus joined up with them as he yelled to JD, "Go find Kait! Make sure she's okay."

The three of them ran toward the outer cliffs that just outside the base's wall. Savannah jumped the culvert as if it wasn't even there. Baird followed her, and Marcus ran on Baird's other side. Baird asked Savannah, "She's going to be fine, right Skinny?" Savannah was concentrating on a particular spot she knew Sam liked to visit. "I don't know the answer to that, Blue, but we won't stop searching until we find her." Just as they came around the corner, something hit Baird in the shoulder and he was thrown backwards onto the ground. "Ouch! Mother fucker!" he screamed, grabbing at his bleeding shoulder.

Savannah heard Marcus yell, "Baird! Shit, shit, shit! Savannah, get down!" Savannah hit the ground hard. "Son-of -a-bitch!" she screamed. She crawled over to Baird and saw the snatcher's quill sticking out of his shoulder. She yanked the quill out and put pressure on the wound. She tore off the bottom half of her shirt and wrapped it around Baird's injury. Marcus was looking around for the snatcher. Savannah helped Baird up and told him, "You need to get back and have Johannsen look at that." Baird glared at her and said, "No fucking way! I have to find Sam. What if she's been taken by one of these assholes?" Savannah helped steady him and looked around for Marcus. She saw him looking over the edge of one of the cliffs. She turned back to Baird and took a hold of his good arm. "Damon, I promise you I will find her. If something has happened to her, you are going to have to be at full strength if you're going to take care of her. Now go to the hospital and see Johannsen." Baird's eyes filled with tears and he stared at Savannah. "Baird, go. I will find her." Baird started back to the base as Savannah turned and jogged to Marcus' side.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

He was somewhat crouched down and surveying the area." Those bastards!" he said under his breath. "I don't know where to start looking for her, and I hope you can keep your promise to him, because if not- he will kill himself trying to find her." Savannah looked behind a giant boulder and said to Marcus, "Then I'll have to make sure I find her." Just then, their radios came to life. "Marcus, Savannah, you two okay?" It was Cole and he sounded stressed. Savannah hit her radio button, "We need weapons, Cole, and make sure you stay with Baird. He has to go get that shoulder treated. Do not let him back out here until Johannsen sees him." Her radio clicked when Cole answered back, "Roger that, L.T., I'm sending Carmine and Alex out with your boom booms."

Savannah watched for Carmine and Alex while Marcus got on the radio with Control. "I get that, Burrows, but Rossi needs to understand the magnitude of the situation." Savannah could hear Burrows talking to someone in the background and suddenly Rossi was in her ear. "Marcus, what the hell do you expect me do?" I need more information in order to know how to proceed here." Marcus raised his voice, "Send out a watch-bot to see if it can spot these assholes from the air." The radio was silent for a few seconds before Rossi responded, "Fine. I'll send it now." Savannah saw Alex and Carmine jogging up the path with two Lancers and two side arms.

"What do you need us to do, Boss?" asked Carmine. Alex had her Lancer at the ready and scanned the area. Savannah loaded her Lancer and put her pistol in its holster.

"I need you two to call for support and patrol these cliffs. Marcus and I are going to look for Sam." Just as she turned toward Marcus, Baird jogged back up the path. He was out of breath. "Not without me, you're not. I have to find her," he said. Savannah nodded at him and Marcus. "Let's go. Baird, I need you to be prepared for anything when and _if_ we find her. Do you understand?" He stared at her as if he was trying to comprehend what she was trying to say. "No, no I won't expect anything but her to be hunkered down and safe. I refuse to think about anything else." Alex walked up beside Baird and said to him, "You're wasting time. Keep it together, Baird. She'll be fine."

Marcus, Savannah and Baird ran down the path toward one of the hidden caves on the backside of the cliffs. As they approached the entrance, Savannah could see Sam's radio lying in the gravel. There were large drops of blood surrounding the wires. "Oh Jesus," said Baird as he bent down to pick up her radio. "No, no, no, no no. This can't be happening." Savannah put her hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her with raw fear in his eyes. She got down on his level. "Baird, listen to me. I want you to stay out here. I'll go in and see if I can find her. Stay here." Baird stood up and threw her hand off his shoulder. "Fuck that. I'm going with you, and I would love to see you try and stop me." She took his face in her hands. "I understand how you're feeling right now, Blue, but I need you to trust me. I've been where you are right now, and I promise I will call you the minute I find anything. I promise." His eyes looked past her to the entrance. When he focused back on her face he said, "I can't lose her, Savannah. I can't... I...need her. Please find her." His eyes filled with tears. Savannah hugged him tight and whispered in his ear, "I promise you I will find her, Damon. Trust me." She held him by the shoulders and nodded at him.

Marcus followed her into the cave. "I sure as hell hope you're prepared for his wrath if something has happened to her, because he's going to hold you responsible." She scoffed and said, "I know! I'm prepared to find anything when we get further in here. I pray he doesn't have to suffer losing her, Marcus, because he won't recover from that. He'll never be the same again." She and Marcus stepped over a small spring that ran through the floor of the cave. When Savannah looked ahead, she saw Sam's foot sticking out from behind a large rock. "Oh no," she whispered. She started for Sam, but Marcus grabbed her by the arm. "Let me go. You stay here." She shook her head at him. "No, I promised Baird I would find her. I have to do this. She's my best friend too." Marcus squeezed her arm and looked into her eyes. "Let's go together."

Before she could get around the rock, a snatcher came from over the top and screeched at her. She raised her Lancer and fired into its mouth. It slid down in front of her, still screeching. She shot it in the head and it went still. Savannah walked around it and stopped dead in her tracks. Sam was lying on her side, a large pool of blood around her. "Fuck!" Savannah yelled. She ran to Sam's side and checked for a pulse. Marcus kneeled down next to Savannah and put his arm around her. "Is she...?" he trailed off.

"She has a faint pulse, but we need to get her out of here right now, or she is not going to make it." At that moment, Baird threw himself over Sam's still body. Savannah didn't realize he'd followed them in. "Sam? Can you hear me?" he pleaded. "Come on, Sam, answer me!" He put his hand on her cheek. She was eerily pale. He bent down and kissed her on the lips. "Please, Sam, please open your eyes." Savannah put her hand on Baird's back. He threw her hand off and yelled at Savannah, "Get her out of here! Why are you just standing there?" His eyes looked wild and he was shaking. "Baird!" Savannah snapped at him. "Pull yourself together. Cole is outside right now with Johannsen. They're going to take her, okay?" He stared at her as a single tear ran down his cheek. Johannsen came around the corner with Cole. Savannah looked up at Cole and nodded toward Baird. "He needs you, Cole. Stay with him." Cole put his arm around Baird's shoulder and said to him, "Come on, Damon. I'll go to the hospital with you. She's gonna be okay, man. Let's go."

Savannah turned to Johannsen, "Please tell me you can save her, Doc." Johannsen looked up at Savannah. "I'll do my best, Lieutenant Colonel, but I can't make any promises. She's lost a lot of blood and she's been out here all morning." Johannsen and the medic carried Sam out to their big rescue truck. Marcus and Savannah followed them out and waited until they drove back the path to begin walking back to the base. They were quiet as they walked the few minutes back to Savannah's house. Inside, Marcus walked up behind Savannah and started to rub her shoulders. He realized she was crying. "What's wrong?" he asked as he turned her to face him. She threw her arms around his neck and started sobbing. "He can't lose her, Marcus. He just can't. He will not come back from this if she dies." Marcus pulled her close to him and whispered into her hair, "She's going to be okay. She has to be."

Savannah made her way to the hospital and ran into Alex as she came through the doors. "Hey, L.T., Baird is going stupid in there. You better go calm him down or I think the medics are going to have to restrain him." Savannah nodded her head at Alex and walked past her to the room where she could hear Baird yelling. "You better save her, you piece of shit, or I will kill you myself!" Savannah ran into the room and stepped in front of Baird. She put her hands on his chest, but he grabbed her by the wrists and yelled, "Don't fucking touch me! This asshole is just standing there. He's letting her die!" Savannah turned to Johannsen. He looked up at her and said, "I'm giving her blood and watching her vitals. Get him out of here now, or I will ban him until she's either ready to go home or dead."

Baird growled and tried to push past Savannah, but she grabbed him around the waist and put her foot behind his ankle, dropping him to the floor. She straddled him and pinned his arms to the floor. "Damon Samuel Baird! Look at me!" she snapped. He snapped out of his rage and looked at her. "Did you just use my middle name?" he asked, glaring up at her. "Yes I did. Now, you and I are going to go back to your house and wait for Johannsen to contact me on my radio. Stand up right now." She climbed off him and stood up, reaching out her hand to help him up. She turned to Johannsen and said, "That was completely uncalled for, and not to mention unprofessional. He'll be expecting your apology, or next time, I'll let him rip your face off." He tersely nodded his head to acknowledge he'd heard her warning.

As she walked next to Baird, she reached for his hand. He jerked his arm away from her and said, "Don't touch me. I can't believe you used my middle name. You swore you would never repeat it." She chuckled and he growled at her. "Oh come on! Johannsen and the nurse were the only two who heard it, and they're not going to say a word to anybody." Savannah would never forget the night she found out Baird's middle name. A year before the Lightmass debacle, they were working in the garage when she asked him what the 'S' stood for. He shook his head no and said, "The only person who will ever know my middle name is the woman I love." Later that night, they were in the mess hall drinking coffee and eating left over toast. After she finished her cup of coffee, Savannah stood up and told Baird she was going home. "I'll see you in a couple of hours," she said as she started for the door. Just as she pushed the door open, Baird called after her, "Hey Skinny!" She turned to face him. "Samuel" was all he said. She smiled at him, hoping he couldn't see how ecstatic she was that he just admitted he loved her. "Don't you ever repeat that, or I will never speak to you again," he said. She smiled at him and blew him a kiss. "Repeat what?" she said as she winked at him and walked out the door.

When they got back to Baird's house, she followed him into the spacious living room. He took his armor off and dropped it next to the couch. He stood in the middle of the room with his hands at his side. He hung his head and let out a long breath. Savannah walked up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind. He stiffened, but patted her hands. She let go of him and he turned around to face her. She smiled up at him. His eyes seemed to search hers for some sort of hope. As his eyes began to water, she threw herself into him, hugging him as tight as she could. He buried his face in her neck, her hair falling behind her. He put his arms around her and let himself cry. "God help me, Savannah. I can't live without her. I don't know what I'll do if she dies." Savannah tightened her arms around him and said, "She's going to be okay. I refuse to believe anything else."

He raised his head and looked into her eyes. Before she knew what was happening, he leaned down to kiss her. She pulled her head back, her mouth open in surprise. "Baird, please don't. You know you'll regret it the minute it happens." He stared down at her and leaned in again, pulling her to him. "No I won't. I just want to forget about this for a little while." She stepped back from him. "This is not the way to do that and you know it." He turned and went into the kitchen. He looked around as if he was in an unfamiliar place. The kitchen towel hung over the oven door handle. Their coffee cups had been washed and put into a dish drainer. Sam's tea kettle was sitting on top of the stove. He reached out and touched the handle, jerking his hand back as if it were hot.

"I can't stay here," he said, turning toward Savannah. "There's too much of her in this house. I have to get out of here." He walked past her, brushing her shoulder with his arm. "Why don't you come home with me," Savannah said as she put her hand on his arm.

"It's better than waiting here alone. Besides- Johannsen is supposed to call my radio with any news. At least you'll be with me when he touches base." Baird turned around and practically hissed at her, "Why? So I can watch you and Marcus make googly eyes at each other? No thanks." Savannah rolled her eyes at him. "First of all, Marcus isn't there. Secondly, he and I are too old for googly eyes. Thirdly, you just said you wanted to get out of here. And most importantly- you are my best friend, Damon Baird, and I refuse to leave your side. So suck it up and let's go." He scoffed at her, but followed her to the door.


	10. Chapter 10

As they walked to Savannah's house, Baird was unusually quiet. Savannah was doing her best to keep her anxiety hidden from him. She knew exactly how he felt. The search for Loomis' body took some time due to the extensive damage in Halvo Bay. The waiting was almost as tough as dealing with his death. She could feel Baird's trembling, even though he was doing his best to conceal it.

Savannah was carefully choosing what to say to Baird when he turned to her and said, "I should have married her." Savannah looked up at him and smiled. "Baird," she said, "Sam never expected you to marry her. She was content just to be with you." Baird scoffed at her and kicked at the gravel on the road. "She never said she wanted marriage, but I know she did. All women want to get married."

As she linked her arm through Baird's, Savannah said, "Not all women, Blue. Sam wants you, not a ring."

Baird sighed and went quiet again. Savannah looked across the courtyard and saw Cole playing with the base kids. The obvious respect and love for Cole was evident in their smiles. Savannah always felt a slight stab when she saw kids. She was glad she never had any children that suffered through the locust war; even though she always wondered what her and Loomis' child would have accomplished. Baird seemed to notice the same thing, because he quietly said to Savannah, "I also wish I would have had a kid." Savannah abruptly stopped and looked at Baird, her mouth open in shock. "You always said you never wanted kids. You said that your childhood ruined any desire to father a child. You were terrified that you would be like your mother."

Baird looked past Savannah at the kids playing with Cole. "I know, but now I wish I had reconsidered that idea. Sam has always wanted kids. We even discussed adopting from the childbirth center." Savannah put her arm around Baird and put her head on his shoulder. Savannah said, "You might still have the chance, Blue. Don't give up yet." Baird gave her a small smile.

Savannah held the screen door for Baird and let it slam shut behind him. He stood inside her sizeable living room, his hands at his side. She removed her Lancer and set it on the table. "Would you like a drink?" she asked Baird as he followed her into the kitchen. "Sure. Whatcha got?" Savannah reached into the back of a cabinet above the refrigerator. "I have some of Dizzy's rot gut. It's 30 years old. I think one shot will be more than enough." Savannah poured two small glasses about half full and handed one to Baird.

Baird took the glass from Savannah, raised it in her direction, and downed the amber liquor in one drink. He immediately started coughing and his eyes were watering. Savannah started giggling and said, "That'll teach ya, dip shit. You should know better than to down something made by Dizzy." Baird smirked at her and said, "This might not be a good idea. You know what happened the last time you and I drank together."

The air was thick with their chemistry. Savannah stared at Baird, holding her glass at her chin. He watched her with his vivid blue eyes. Baird handed his glass back to her and said, "Do you ever think about what might have been if E-Day never happened?"

Savannah sighed, set her glass on the counter and turned to him. "I try not to, Baird. Our lives take the paths they're meant to take. You and I had a terrific relationship during our time together. We developed a mutual respect and bond that nobody can ever break. I don't think we would be as close today if E-Day never happened."

Baird nodded at her, his eyes unfocused. He started to say something, but turned away from her. Savannah touched him on the shoulder and said, "Honesty, right?" Baird turned back to her and asked, "What was it about him, Savannah? What did Loomis do to make you love him so much?" Savannah's eyes instantly started to fill with tears. She walked past Baird, sat down on her couch, and started removing her combat boots. Baird took a seat across from her, in the chair Marcus always sat in.

"I'm not sure I know exactly how to answer that question," she said as she picked at a hole in her BDU pants. "He and I spent a lot of time together at CIC, and he was my hand-to-hand combat instructor for the Onyx Guard Academy. The more time we spent together, the more I saw how kind and funny he was." Baird burst out laughing. "Oh yeah, he was a real fucking riot, Savannah. That asshole punched me in the face, held a gun to my head, and almost killed me." He glared at her and clenched his hands into fists. "I will never understand what you saw in him."

Savannah watched as Baird looked around as if he was searching for an escape route. Savannah leaned forward and said, "You know, I was absolutely furious with him for that whole thing. I was so angry with him that I threw an APC motor at his face, I punched him in the jaw, and I walked out on him that night." Baird looked at her, "You did? Holy shit!" Savannah smiled, looked up at Baird, and said, "I loved you so much, Baird. You were my first love. You shattered my heart when you deployed with Bravo Squad, and I think Ezra filled the void after you left." She pulled her feet under her and took a drink of the coffee she had made. "The more time I spent with him, the more I realized he was a good man underneath all of the no-nonsense bullshit he presented to the world." Baird smirked at her and said, "Is this where you tell me that I shouldn't hate him and you wish I knew the "real" him?"

Savannah ran her fingers through her long hair and tried to hide her tears from Baird. "No, that's not what I was going to say at all. In fact, I can completely understand why you hold a grudge against him, but right now-with what is happening with Sam, I hope you can appreciate just how much I loved him." Baird scoffed at her and rolled his eyes, but Savannah reached out and put her hand over his. "Losing him almost killed me, Baird, and if Sam doesn't make it, you're going to need someone who understands what you're dealing with."

Baird's eyes filled with tears, but he shook his head, trying to rid himself of the emotions overwhelming him. "You don't have to worry about that, because she's going to be just fine. She's too damn stubborn to die." Savannah stared at him, searching his eyes for what was really going on his head. She patted the spot next to her on the couch and said, "Come here, Blue." Baird stood up, stretched and sat down next to Savannah. He awkwardly turned to her, pulling one leg under him.

Savannah turned to him and said, "It's great to be positive, and I am doing my best to think that way too, but you have to acknowledge that she might not make it. If you allow yourself to deny the possibility of losing her, and she dies, you will be so overwhelmed with emotions, that you'll do anything to stop feeling. You will kill yourself trying to stop the grief." Baird rolled his eyes again, but Savannah put her hand on his thigh and looked into his eyes, "Trust me, Baird. I know what I'm talking about here. Not only did I lose my husband, but I also lost his child. I was hell-bent on killing myself with booze, but Marcus swooped in and saved me from myself."

Baird's eyes went wide and he backed away from Savannah. "You were pregnant?" Savannah suddenly realized that Baird didn't know about her miscarriage. She looked up into Baird's blue eyes, tears filling her own. As the tears spilled over, she put her head in her hands and started to cry. Baird cleared his throat and said, "Wow, that's sad." Savannah looked up at him, expecting to see a sarcastic smirk on his face. Instead, she saw his eyes soften and he reached out and patted her knee. "Sorry. Did he know?"

Savannah shook her head no and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "No, I wasn't aware until I lost it. I was injured and didn't find out until Doc Hayman told me after she removed the shrapnel." Baird reached out to touch Savannah's face, but she pulled her head away from him. "Please don't do that. You and I both know that you touching me-"

Savannah's radio crackled and she and Baird both heard Johannsen's voice, "You there, Lieutenant Colonel Taylor?" Savannah practically ripped her radio off her duty belt.


	11. Chapter 11

"Gotcha, Johannsen. What's Sam's status?" Baird was eerily still as he listened to Johannsen. "I need you to get Baird here ASAP." Baird's face went white as a ghost, and he bent forward as if he were going to pass out on Savannah's floor. "Stay with me, Baird." she said as she stood up.

She crossed the room to the table and picked up her Lancer, attaching it to its notch on her back. She turned around and saw Baird staring straight ahead. She walked over and touched him on the shoulder. "Baird?" He ignored her, but she said his name louder. His head snapped in her direction. The fear and pain in his eyes was raw. He reached out and grabbed Savannah around the waist, burying his head in her stomach. He began to sob uncontrollably. Savannah stroked his hair with one hand and hugged him with the other.

"She's dead isn't she?" he said through his tears. "That's why he wants me there right now. She's gone." Savannah put her hands on his cheeks and turned his face up to hers, making him look at her. "We don't know that. Now get up, and let's go." She wiped the tears from his face and he wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. When he stood up, he was unsteady, so Savannah took him by the elbow and led him to the door.

Baird started jogging toward the hospital, but Savannah stopped him. "Slow down, Damon. You have to prepare yourself for what you might hear." He turned to her and said, "We're wasting time! Let's go!" Savannah put her hand out for him to take it. He waved her off and began jogging toward the hospital again. Savannah jogged up beside him and opened the door. As Baird stepped inside, Marcus came out from the main corridor, followed by JD, Kait, Del, Jace, Cole, Carmine and most surprisingly-Alex Brand.

Baird stopped in his tracks and looked around at all of his friends. He went pale again, and took Savannah's hand to steady himself. "You're all here because she's dead isn't she? You're here for support, aren't you?" Marcus stepped forward and said, "No, we're here because we all care about Sam, and we care about you." Johannsen stepped into the hall and said to Baird, "Come with me." Baird looked at Savannah. She squeezed his hand in reassurance.

As Baird and Johannsen made their way down the hall, Johannsen turned to Baird, cleared his throat and said quietly, "I would like to apologize for my behavior earlier, Baird. It was terribly unprofessional. I'm sorry." Baird shrugged his shoulders and said, "No worries, Doc." They stopped at the door to Sam's room. Johannsen looked at Baird and said, "I'll be honest. She doesn't look good. You need to prepare yourself." Baird looked from Johannsen to the door, reached out and turned the knob.

When Baird stepped through the door, he saw Sam lying under a white blanket, tubes and wires attached to her hand and chest. He could hear beeping, but it sounded muffled. Johannsen touched Baird on the back and said, "Talk to her. She can hear you. She's going to be weak for a while and she'll probably be unconscious for a few days, but I think she'll make a full recovery. She lost a lot of blood and she has one hell of a wound, but we've repaired what we can. There is still a small chance we could lose her. Blood loss is nothing to underestimate."

Baird whirled around and grabbed Johannsen in a tight hug. "Thank you, Doc! I owe you one." Johannsen cleared his throat and turned to the door. "Don't stay too long, Sergeant Baird. She needs lots of rest. She's not out of the woods yet." Baird turned back to Sam. He walked over to the bed and gently took her hand in his. Her fingers were cold.

He bent down to her ear and said, for the first time in his life, "I love you. Please wake up." He tenderly rubbed the back of her hand. She didn't move for the fifteen minutes Baird sat next to her bed. He kissed the back of her hand before walking out of the room and down the hall.

Savannah was the first person he saw when he got to the waiting room. She looked up at him and smiled. He looked around at everyone sitting there and said, "Thanks for being here, everybody. Go home. She's okay right now." Marcus stared at Baird for a few seconds, put his hands on his hips and walked over to him. When Baird turned to Marcus, he gave him a big grin. Marcus put his hand on Baird's shoulder and said, "I'm glad she's okay, Baird. Why don't you go with Savannah tonight. You don't need to be alone."

As Marcus walked out of the hospital, Savannah stood up and said, "It's up to you, Baird. The couch is comfier than it looks." She turned and walked out of the door without looking at or talking to anyone else. Jace looked around at his fellow Gears and quipped, "I think Marcus is in big trouble." Cole laughed and said, "Yeah, the L.T. didn't look too happy about that." Baird frowned at Cole and walked around him to leave the hospital.

When Baird got outside, he saw Marcus and Savannah standing on the sidewalk having a heated discussion. "What is with you, Fenix?" he heard Savannah snap. Marcus closed his eyes and hung his head. He looked up at Savannah and whispered through gritted teeth, "He doesn't need to be alone. You're his friend. Keep him company." Savannah's eyes flashed with anger and something Baird couldn't quite understand.

Savannah turned on Marcus and said, "He's fine without me fussing all over him, Marcus. He doesn't need me." Marcus tilted his head and asked her, "What is wrong with you. Why wouldn't you want to be there for him? Why are you arguing with me about this?" Savannah turned away from Marcus, clenched her fists, and let out an exasperated sigh. Marcus walked over and turned her around by her shoulder. "What is with you, Savannah?" She pushed Marcus away and shouted, "I don't want to end up fucking him, okay?" She took off jogging toward her house. Baird walked up beside Marcus and said, "I think you better go talk to her. I don't know why she would say something like that." Marcus partially turned to Baird, did his slow blink and said, "I know why."


	12. Chapter 12

Marcus' boots made little noise as he walked across Savannah's porch. He gingerly opened the door and walked in. Savannah was sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. Marcus sat down beside her. Without looking at him, Savannah said, "I'm sorry." Marcus sighed and put his forearms on his thighs. Savannah raised her head and looked over at him. He turned to her and said, "It's okay. I shouldn't have said anything." Savannah reached out and gently touched Marcus' beard. He looked into her eyes, watching her with an intensity that made Savannah's stomach tighten.

She leaned over and softly kissed him. His eyes were still closed when she pulled back and looked at him. When he opened his eyes, she said, "Baird and I will always have a hard time fighting our attraction, and I don't want to put myself in a situation that could cause me to do something he and I will regret." Marcus stared at her, slightly clenching his hands. Savannah ran her fingers through his hair and whispered to him, "I am in love with you, Marcus Fenix, but I cannot trust myself alone with Damon Baird. I know that sounds contradictory, but I need you to understand why he can't be here."

Marcus nodded his head slowly and stood up. Savannah watched him walk to the table and take off his duty belt. He bent forward with his palms down on the table, closed his eyes and said, "I don't know what you want me to say. I've already told you I can't give you what you want. I've decided to go back home...to Anya." Savannah gasped, stood up and walked over to Marcus. When he turned to her, she threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Marcus stiffened and reached up to remove her arms from around his shoulders. She jerked her hands away from him, her eyes blazing with fury.

"You are a fucking liar, Fenix," she spit at him. He glared at her and crossed his arms. She put her hands on her hips and took a step toward him. "You will never convince me that you don't love me, and the only reason you want to leave is because you're scared of how you feel." She took another step closer to him, put her hands and forehead on his chest, and whispered," Don't walk away from the one person who understands you, Marcus."

Marcus didn't move for several seconds, but then he slowly wrapped his arms around Savannah. He tightened his grip and quietly said into her hair, "I told you I am beyond help. I have too much baggage to be with anybody. It's best that I leave." Savannah wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tight. She looked into his eyes, rose up on her toes, and softly kissed him. She said against his lips, "Please don't shut me out, Marcus. I know the pain that consumes you, and I promise we will get through it together."

Marcus let go of her, took a step back, and dropped his hands to his side. He looked around the room before he said, "I don't know how to love anybody but Anya. She never demanded anything from me. She let me treat her like shit for years. I am not good at this, Savannah. Why would you want to be with someone that can't give you what Loomis gave you." At the mention of Loomis' name, Savannah put her fingers to her lips and watched Marcus while tears formed in her eyes. He glanced over at her, and when he saw her wiping her eyes, he said, "This is exactly what I'm talking about. I can't open my mouth without hurting you. I have to go, Savannah. I have to. I can't stand to see you like this."

Savannah hugged herself and said to Marcus, "Hearing his name will always hurt. Thinking of him hurts. Picturing him hurts. Everything to do with him hurts. You know exactly how that feels. I see how much losing Anya has devastated you, and that's why I know we can heal each other." Marcus let out a sigh and sat down on the couch. Savannah set down beside him. She laid her head on his shoulder. They sat in comfortable silence for a while. Suddenly, an explosion ripped through the outer wall of the base.


	13. Chapter 13

Marcus was up and out the door before Savannah could grab her Lancer. As she ran through the door, another explosion blew out the windows at CIC. Savannah ran toward HQ, jumping over Cole who was huddled over three kids. He yelled to Savannah, "Find Carmine! He was heading to CIC the last time I saw him!" Savannah got to CIC just as another explosion ripped through the hospital. Savannah's radio came to life. Marcus was in her ear. "Savannah, find Baird right now! I think he went back to see Sam."

She pressed her earpiece and said to Marcus, "Then you come to CIC and look for Carmine. Cole said he was headed over here. Make sure Rossi follows protocol. You know how he likes to go rogue during a crisis." Marcus took a few seconds to answer her, so she pushed her earpiece again, but be fore she could say anything, Marcus came up behind her and said, "Get to the hospital now! Baird isn't answering his radio." Savannah was frozen. Hearing that Baird wasn't responding, and knowing an explosion had happened at the hospital, she couldn't bring herself to move. Marcus took a hold of Savannah's arm and shook her. "Savannah!" he yelled, "Go find Baird!"

Savannah took off running toward the hospital. Just as she rounded what was left of the corner, Johannsen ran right into her. He was cradling his left arm and it was bleeding profusely. Savannah pulled her hemostat dressing out of her duty belt and wrapped it around Johannsen's arm. She told him she was looking for Baird, but before she could stand up, Johannsen grabbed her arm and said, "I think he's dead, Lieutenant Colonel. The wing where Sam was is gone now. It's just...rubble." Savannah jumped up and ran into what remained of the hospital. She could hear screaming and several bodies were on the floor. Some of them were moving, some of them weren't.

Savannah pushed her radio button and called Cole, "I need you to get as many Gears to the hospital as you can. There are bodies all over in here, and some of them are still alive. I'm going to try and find Baird." She took off running toward the piles of stone and metal that used to be Sam's room. She called out for Baird, but didn't get any response. She started grabbing cement blocks and throwing them aside, but she was getting nowhere fast. "Shit!" she screamed. She ran back outside and found Johannsen lying in a heap on the sidewalk. "Oh my God, Johannsen!" She ran to his side and carefully turned him over onto his back. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he wasn't breathing. "You stay with me, Johannsen", she said as she put her hands on his chest to start CPR.

As she was administering chest compressions, she heard footsteps coming from behind her. The sound of crunching glass stopped and she suddenly heard Alex Brand's voice right behind her. "L.T., stop. I need you to come with me." Savannah turned in Alex's direction, but never stopped the compressions. "Alex, get over here and help me! I can't keep this up by myself." Alex came over to Savannah, bent down, and stopped the compressions. "What the hell are you doing?" said Savannah. Alex took Savannah's hands in hers, looked her in the eyes, and said, "L.T., I need you to come with me right now." Alex helped her up, and grabbed Savannah's Lancer from the ground.

Savannah knew something was terribly wrong, but she couldn't bring herself to ask Alex what was happening. The two of them walked in silence in the direction of CIC. Savannah looked over at Alex and saw her crying. Her stomach tightened with anxiety. It wasn't like Alex Brand to cry, so something horrible had happened. Flashes of Cole yelling to her about Carmine heading for CIC started to filter into her mind. "Oh no", she said. "Alex, please tell me it isn't Carmine. I don't think I can handle that right now."

Alex sniffled and shook her head no. "It's not Carmine, L.T." Suddenly, the reality of what must have happened hit Savannah full force. She turned and grabbed Alex in a tight hug. "Oh God, Alex, is it Drew?" Alex stiffened in her arms, but started sobbing and shook her head yes. Savannah hugged her tighter, waiting for Alex to let Savannah console her. After a few awkward minutes, Alex finally put her arms around Savannah. Her sobs continued, and Savannah was determined to hold her until Alex let it all out. Savannah had been in Alex's position before. She knew exactly what Alex was feeling. Savannah wanted to throw up. The pain that Alex was suffering was palpable. Savannah knew the empty, hollow feeling in Alex's chest. The hurt, the anger, the sadness- it was all bombarding Alex and it would only get worse.

Savannah's radio clicked and she heard Marcus in her ear, "Savannah, I need you at CIC right now." Alex let go of her, but Savannah took her hands and said, "Alex, I know exactly how you're feeling right now. I know it hurts, and I know you don't want to think about it right now, but you're going to need someone to help you through this." Alex yanked her hands away from Savannah and hissed, "I don't need shit, L.T.! Just leave me the fuck alone!" Alex stomped off toward the mess hall. Savannah took a deep breath, turned her face to the sky and prayed aloud, "God of Sera, please help me handle this." She slung her Lancer and headed inside CIC.

Chapter 14


	14. Chapter 14

Marcus met her at the communications desk. He had his Lancer in his right hand; it hung at his side. He attached it to his back, and walked up to Savannah. "Rossi's dead. We need to get him out of here. Carmine's arm is torn up, but he's okay." Savannah's eyes filled with tears as she wrapped her arms around herself. Marcus reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. "I know exactly what you're thinking about right now, and I know it's hard, but I need you to keep it together until we get this shit figured out." Savannah glared at him, but nodded her head yes. "I have to go find Baird." She turned and walked out. Marcus watched her leave, knowing that later tonight, she was going to need him more than she realized.

Savannah slowly walked to the demolished hospital. She kept shaking her head, trying to rid herself of the terrible memories. She could still see Chairman Prescott standing in her door, the appropriate look of sadness in his eyes as he said, "I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Cadet Taylor. Colonel Loomis was a fine man. His brilliant tactical mind will be missed." Fury started to build in her chest and she let it out before she could stop herself. "Thanks, Chairman. I'm so sorry you're war is going to suffer because my husband's dead. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a funeral to plan." She slammed the door in his face.

Savannah knew Alex was going to need a friend, but deep down- Savannah didn't know if she could be that friend. Reliving the loss of her husband was something she tried to avoid at all costs. If she was honest with herself, she had never truly dealt with losing him. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Nurse Magdeline call to her. "Lieutenant Colonel Taylor, I need to speak to you, please." Savannah watched as Magdeline walked up to her, an angry look in her eyes. Before Savannah could open her mouth, Magdeline said, "I have every intention of having you thrown in the Brig for your blatant disregard for Dr. Johannsen's life. You left him to die on the sidewalk."

Savannah got in her face and said, "He was already dead, Magdeline, so you can take your threat and shove it. If you really want to do something productive, why don't you go ask Sergeant Fenix what you can do to help the injured that are still lying out in the courtyard." Savannah pushed past her and walked around the back of the rubble. She was desperate to find Baird, but had no idea where to start looking. Several Gears were busy moving debris and Savannah asked if she could help. "No thanks, L.T., we've got it under control. I know there are some injured Gears inside. They could use some support."

Savannah went inside the portion of the building that was still intact. Numerous Gears were sitting in the hall with various injuries; some were severe and some were minor. She asked the lead medic, Rick, what she could do to help. He turned to her, smiled and said, "Nothing much here, Lieutenant Colonel, but there's a strange noise coming from where the back wing used to be. The nurses and medics are concerned it might be unstable walls. Can you check that out?" She mock-saluted him and said, "I'm on it. Let me know if you need anything." He saluted her back and turned back to his patient.

As she made her way through the ruins of the hospital, she came to the wing where Sam was being cared for. She heard the noise that the Gears had told Rick about; it was a scraping sound. Savannah knew exactly what she was hearing. She began to dig through the glass, cement, and tile. "Baird! If you can hear me, tap the wall." She heard nothing but silence. She kept grabbing pieces of the building and throwing them to the side. She got on her radio, switched to the private channel, and called for some help, "Hey Cole, can you come to the back of the hospital? I think I found Baird."


	15. Chapter 15

Within a minute, Cole showed up and started helping Savannah move the debris. She yelled again for Baird, "Tap the wall if you can hear me. Come on, Damon, let me know you're there!" Cole stopped what he was doing and did the same thing, "Yo Baird, tap that wall, man! We'll get you out, but we gotta know where you're at!" They listened closely and after a couple of minutes, they heard a faint tapping sound. Savannah walked quietly along the pile and found where it seemed to be coming from. "I think I found him, Gus!" Cole ran over and started ripping pieces of crumbled block out of the way. It didn't take long for him to make an opening that Savannah could crawl into.

"You be careful, L.T., this is not stable at all. The last thing we need is for you to get buried in there." She smiled at Cole and started crawling into the small opening. She shined her flashlight into the darkness. At first, all she could see was dust, but as her eyes adjusted, she noticed two distinct blue circles coming from the furthest point in the back. Baird's goggles; they weren't moving, but she knew he was alive. She moved as fast as she could, and when she got to Baird, he was still, but he was breathing. "Baird?" she said, touching him on the shoulder. "Are you able to move?" He groaned and Savannah sighed with relief. He raised his head slightly and winced in pain. "Sam" was all he said before he started coughing.

Savannah started looking around and asked Baird, "Where is she? I can't see her." She tried shining the flashlight around, but couldn't see too much in the small space. Baird managed to lift himself up, and when he did, Savannah saw Sam's small hand underneath Baird's chest. He was lying over her body. "Oh shit" she said softly. "I'm going to get you and Sam out of here, Baird." She radioed Cole and told him the situation. "I don't know Sam's status, so if you can kick it into high gear, that would be great, Cole." Savannah started to check Baird over, making sure he wasn't bleeding too badly. He kept coughing and groaning after every breath. Savannah knew he had to have broken ribs and possibly a collapsed lung.

Savannah could hear Cole's voice getting louder, and she thought she heard Carmine barking orders at someone. While Savannah was concentrating on getting to Sam, she heard Marcus on her private radio channel, "You okay, Savannah? How's Baird?" She didn't want to move Baird too much, but she knew Sam was either in danger of dying or she was already dead. She pushed her radio button to respond to Marcus, "I'm okay, but I'm not so sure about Sam and Baird. She's pinned underneath him, and he's probably got broken ribs; maybe even a collapsed lung." She heard Marcus' voice, but it wasn't coming from her radio. Bright light suddenly broke into the cocoon of darkness. Savannah looked up into Marcus' face. He reached out his hand and helped her up. They continued to move some debris, while Rick waited to assess Baird and Sam.

As soon as they had made a large enough space, Rick immediately started checking Baird over. "You're absolutely right, L.T." he said, "He has broken ribs and a collapsed lung. I have to get him out of here now." She and Marcus helped Rick gently lift Baird onto a waiting stretcher. Baird tried to sit up and went into a coughing fit as he shouted, "Get her out of there! She's going to die!" He tried climbing off the stretcher, but Savannah pushed him back down. "Baird, we _are_ getting her out. There are some concrete blocks on her legs. We're moving as fast as we can." He tried to sit up again, but Savannah held him down by his shoulders. "You're injured, Baird. Let Rick take care of you. We'll get Sam out, I promise." He closed his eyes, laid his head down, but didn't let go of Savannah's hand.

Cole left with the two extra medics and Baird, but Marcus stayed behind to help with Sam. "I don't know if she's alive," said Savannah, "but I am not leaving here until I know one way or the other." Marcus put his arm around and her and whispered in her ear, "I think you need to go see Alex. You're the best person to help her right now." Savannah sighed heavily, turned to Marcus and said, "I don't know if I can handle that right now, and besides- she told me to leave her alone. I've been there, Marcus. She needs space right now." Marcus grunted and said under his breath, "Let's hope she doesn't start drinking." Savannah rolled her eyes at him and said, "Well, I'll send you to rescue her if she does." Marcus shook his head and walked away as he said, "I'm not a psychiatrist."


	16. Chapter 16

Carmine was standing against a pile of block when Savannah turned back around. He reached out his good arm and Savannah walked over and put her head on his shoulder. "We need to take care of Drew's body, Carmine. I know you two were close, and I know this is tough, but would you be willing to help with that?" Carmine let go of her and said, "Yeah, sure Boss." He tried taking off the sling that held his inured arm, but Savannah stopped him. "Nope, you leave that on, Buster, or I'll kick your ass myself." Carmine laughed at her and said, "Yeah right. I outweigh you by a hundred pounds, Boss. Not gonna happen." He winked at her and headed for CIC.

Savannah went back over to help with Sam. As she walked up to Marcus, who was helping with the bits and pieces of tile, she heard Rick yell that Sam was free from the rubble. Savannah watched with trepidation as Rick slowly and gently scooted Sam out of the scattered cement and piles of dust. Sam was bleeding from her head and alarmingly pale, but Savannah could see her chest rising and falling. "Jesus, she's still alive. Let's get her out of here right now," said Marcus. Rick and the other medics gingerly lifted Sam onto another waiting stretcher. Luann, one of the newer medics, was attaching an IV line to Sam's hand. "She's good to go, Ricky."

Savannah realized she and Marcus were the only ones left standing in the remains of the hospital wing. She turned to Marcus and said, "Let's get out of here and go home for a little bit." Marcus stared at her for a few seconds and then nodded at her. He swept his hand toward the sidewalk, and she walked ahead of him until they reached the courtyard. As they made their way through the courtyard, Marcus was looking around at the extensive damage. "I can't believe this shit!" he shouted. "Who in the hell is responsible for this? There's no way Jinn had anything to do with it." Savannah took his hand and said, "I don't know, but let's go home, please." Marcus could tell from Savannah's tone of voice that she wasn't doing well, no matter how hard she tried to act like she was okay. They walked in silence, holding hands, the rest of the way to Savannah's house.

Marcus held the door open for Savannah. When he turned around, Savannah slammed him up against the closed door and kissed him hard. She started removing his armor while running her tongue over his lips. "Savannah," said Marcus. She looked up at him, raised her eyebrow and said, "Don't talk, Marcus. Just touch me." She leaned into him and pulled his shirt over his head. He was watching her with his blue eyes, following her every move. When he took a step toward her, she reached for him, trying to kiss him again.

Marcus picked her up around her ribs and pulled her to him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and put her arms around his neck. He carried her into the bedroom and practically threw her on the bed. She removed her shirt and watched Marcus unsnap his pants. Savannah kicked her boots off and took off her leggings that had been hidden under her armor. Marcus looked down at her before he bent to kiss her, all while she moved backward on the bed, up toward the pillows. Savannah took Marcus' face in her hands and whispered, "Take us away from this, please."

Marcus nibbled at her neck as he ran his hand down her leg, pulling it up and placing it around his waist. Savannah arched her back as she ran her nails down his back. He growled in her ear and softly said, "If you keep doing that, I'm not going to be able to control myself." She smiled mischievously at him, bit her bottom lip and said, "Then by all means, let's make you lose control." She pushed her nails harder against his sides and dragged them down fast. Marcus grabbed her and pulled her over on top of him. She did the same thing to his chest and then kissed him so hard, it took her breath away. Their breathing was fast and they couldn't stop touching each other.

Marcus gripped her hips and pushed his groin up into her pelvis. She closed her eyes and moaned softly. She bent down and let her hair fall onto Marcus' chest. She placed soft kisses down the middle of his stomach, into the trail of hair that disappeared into his underwear. When she slid back up his chest and looked down at him, he smiled, grabbed her hair, and pulled her down for a kiss. Savannah rolled over onto her back, pulling Marcus with her. He looked into her eyes, stared at her for a few seconds, and said, "You were wrong earlier. I'm not scared of how I feel. I'm just not good at showing it."

Savannah pushed herself up on her elbows, touched Marcus' face and whispered, "Oh, I bet you could show me now." He kissed her softly as he held her hands beside her head, lacing his fingers with hers. Savannah moaned as Marcus took her. Their bodies moved in a perfect rhythm, no talking was necessary. Afterwards, Marcus was getting dressed, sitting next to Savannah. The quiet was getting to her, so she said to him, "I have to go see Sam. I have to make sure she's okay and then let Baird know."

Marcus nodded and said, "I'll go see Alex. She's going to need you, Savannah. At some point, you're going to have to set your past aside and help her." Savannah stood up, and as she walked through the bedroom door to leave, she said to Marcus, "I'll set my past aside when you set yours aside." Marcus heard the door slam and knew he had said the wrong thing. "Shit," he said as he fastened his chest armor.


	17. Chapter 17

Savannah was irritated as she made her way to the temporary hospital that Rick had set up. Marcus may not have meant any harm when he said what he did, but he should also know better. He, of all people, should understand how hard it is to let go of the grief of losing a spouse. Helping Alex would be emotionally taxing, but if she had to- she would be there. Alex was a tough cookie, and she'd come a long way since Savannah first met her. Unfortunately, this would probably push Alex back behind her walls of sarcasm, cruelty, and anger.

The building was quiet as Savannah walked to Sam's room. Losing Johannsen was tough, but Rick was close to finishing his medical degree, so she knew everybody would be in capable hands. When she arrived at Sam's room, she opened the door and saw Cole asleep in the bedside chair. He opened his eyes and stood up when he saw Savannah. He stretched and said, "Hey, L.T., she seems to be holding on. I'm more worried about Baird. He's giving the staff a hard time." Savannah chuckled and said, "I would be more concerned if he _wasn't_ giving them a hard time." She moved to Sam's bedside and took her hand. Sam didn't move at all. She was so pale and looked as if she'd lost weight.

The door to Sam's room opened, and Baird was being wheeled in by a nurse. Savannah could tell he was pissed about being in a wheelchair, but with broken ribs and a collapsed lung, he was lucky he was even allowed out of bed. She smiled down at him and said, "I like your new wheels, Baird. I'm surprised you haven't found a way to motorize the damn thing." He gave her the finger and rolled himself to Sam's bedside.

He didn't take her hand or talk to her. Savannah could see the fear and sadness in his eyes. She walked up behind him and put her arm around his shoulders. "Talk to her, Baird. She can hear you. Johannsen always said that patients who are unconscious can still hear people talking to them." Baird turned his head toward Savannah and said, "Then why don't you and Cole get the hell out of here so I can spend some time with her." She and Cole laughed and shut the door behind them when they left.

Cole and Savannah walked toward CIC. Savannah looked up and saw Marcus talking to Carmine. Cole was suddenly bombarded with kids. A couple of them tried to climb up his leg, but he lifted the two of them up to his shoulders. Their giggles made Savannah smile, but an inner sadness overwhelmed her. She started walking toward Marcus and Carmine before it became too much. As she walked up to Carmine, Marcus turned and walked away. Carmine grabbed Savannah in a bear hug and said, "Hi ya, Boss. What's up?" Savannah grinned at him and said, "What's up is, you better put me down before every other Gear under my command thinks they can hug me." Carmine laughed, set her down, and put his hands in his pockets.

She looked around the courtyard. There was so much damage from the explosions. She wondered if there was any information that could lead to the assholes that did this. Twelve people died because of some unknown enemy. Alex Brand would never get to marry Drew Rossi, and Johannsen had given his life while working in the one place he loved. "Those motherfuckers!" shouted Savannah. Carmine jumped at her outburst. "Jesus, Boss, calm down." Savannah turned on him and snapped, "Calm down? Did you miss the carnage here, Carmine? Did you forget that your best friend was killed in this attack?" She walked up, stood on her tip toes, and got in Carmine's face, "Do I need to remind you that we lost twelve people today?" Carmine put his palms up, as if he could keep her from yelling at him. "I'm sorry, Boss. I'm not used to you acting like this. My mistake." Savannah sighed, hung her head, and said to Carmine, "I'm so sorry, Clay. My anger has nothing to do with you. I'll see you later."


	18. Chapter 18

Marcus had watched the entire exchange between Carmine and Savannah from Savannah's porch. He could tell she was overwhelmed with emotion, and he wasn't sure how to handle it. She was going to burn out at some point, but he didn't know when. He'd been there himself. Losing Dom and his father, all in the same day, had almost closed him off completely, but Anya managed to keep him from doing anything stupid. He decided to try to talk to Savannah. He pushed his radio button and called for her. "Hey Savannah, I need you to come to your house right now." He saw her look up at him, stare at him for a few seconds, and push her radio button. She was in his ear, "What do you want, Fenix? I'm busy."

Marcus switched to their private channel and said, "I want you, now get over here before I come and get you." She smiled at him and as she started walking toward him, she said into her radio, "I want you too, Fenix, but don't you think we need to get busy figuring out who did this?" He narrowed his eyes at her, and when she walked up to him, he grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. He turned to her, grabbed her around the waist and backed her up against the door. "We're not leaving here until you talk to me." She glared at him and said, "Talk to you about what? The fact that I can't deal with Alex Brand? The fact that I can't deal with Baird being injured? The fact that one of my best friends is unconscious?" She turned to Marcus, let her hands hang at her sides, and scowled at him.

Marcus reached out and took her hand. "Savannah, I know what you're going through, believe me. I've been there, but Alex is going to need you. Don't turn your back on her." They were interrupted when Baird called on the radio, "Hey Marcus, come to the hospital and bring Savannah with you. I think I found something that will lead us to the bastards that did this." Marcus muttered, "Dammit, this is shitty timing, Baird."

Baird scoffed and said, "So the twelve people that died aren't as important as you two screwing? I heard your radio transmission." Marcus rolled his eyes as Baird mocked the conversation, " ' _I want you'_ and blah, blah, blah." Just get out here, please." Savannah's patience finally ran out and she snapped at Baird, "You know where I live, so bring it here you pompous bastard."

The radio went silent and Savannah started giggling. Marcus stared at her as if she was crazy. He took a step toward her and said, "What is wrong with you? I haven't seen you like this since Loomis died." Savannah turned on Marcus and pushed him hard. He fell back a couple of steps, catching himself on the edge of the couch. She was furious, but Marcus couldn't figure out why. She stomped toward him and said, "I don't want to deal with this, okay? I cannot handle watching Alex fall apart. I can't do it." Marcus grabbed her and hugged her tight. She tried fighting him off, but she finally gave in and started softly crying. Marcus continued to hold her, rubbing her back. She finally stopped, pulled away from Marcus and said, "I can't face her, Marcus. All it will do is make me even crazier than I seem right now. I need you to understand. Please just let it go."

The door to Savannah's house slammed open and Baird walked in. He was definitely in distress, and Savannah had to reach out to steady him. He glared at her and said, "What the hell, Skinny? What's your flipping problem today?" She stared icily at him, and through her gritted teeth she said, "You figure it out! After all, you're a genius, right?" She pushed past him and walked out the door. Baird turned to Marcus and said, "Um, I don't know what's going on, and frankly- I don't really care. I found shrapnel by the hospital. It has a name scratched into it... Lyle Ollivar. Marcus' eyes went wide and he said, "Shit! He's still alive? We were uneasy allies, Baird, but I don't think he had anything to do with this." Baird stared at Marcus and said, "He was a stranded, and you know how I feel about those assholes. We need to find him."

Marcus hung his head, clenched his fists and said, "There's only one person who might know where he is, and she just walked out the door. We need to let her cool off before we ask." Baird waited a few seconds before he asked Marcus, "How is it she knows him exactly? Why didn't I know about this?" Marcus shrugged his shoulders, walked around Baird and sat on the arm of the couch. He wouldn't look at Baird, and that let Baird know that Marcus knew something he didn't. He didn't know if he should feel pissed off or not. He knew Marcus was big on trust and keeping someone's secrets, but at the same time- Baird felt like an outsider who wasn't privy to inside information. He turned to Marcus and asked, "So what is it between her and him? How does she know him?" Marcus closed his eyes and said, "You need to ask her that question. It's not my secret to tell."

Marcus' response only infuriated Baird more. She called herself his best friend, but now he finds out that she's been keeping things from him. It hurt, and that's what pissed him off the most. He frowned and said to Marcus, "Then I guess I'll go and ask her." Marcus grabbed him by the arm and said, "Leave her alone, Baird. She's pissed off about something, and all you're going to do is make her even angrier. Let it go for now." Baird looked at him in shock. "What the hell, Marcus? Do you really want to see this happen again? We lost Rossi for fuck's sake!" Marcus closed his eyes and said, "What do you want me to do? You know how she gets when she's pissed. Let her cool off, okay?" Baird took a step toward Marcus, and with sadness in his voice he said, "Apparently, I don't know her at all."


	19. Chapter 19

Marcus sighed and looked at Baird. He walked to the door, opened it and said, "Fine, go ask her, but be careful- something's wrong and I don't know what." Baird shook his head as if he was trying to shake something out of his mind. As he walked past Marcus he said, "You and I both know what's wrong." Marcus grunted and said, "Yeah, I know." They walked out of Savannah's house just in time to see Alex Brand walk up to Savannah and grab her in a hug. Baird stopped abruptly and said to Marcus, "Uh, is Alex drunk? I've never seen her affectionate toward anybody."

Marcus started walking toward the two of them and saw Alex wiping tears from her eyes. Baird was watching as well, and Marcus expected him to make a smart-ass comment, but instead- Baird walked up to Alex, put his hand on her back and said, "I'm sorry about Drew." Alex turned to Baird with a mixed look of shock and wariness. She smiled and said, "Thanks, Baird. He always liked you." Baird looked over at Savannah and noticed she was crying too. He looked at Marcus and saw Marcus nod his head. Baird turned back to Savannah and said, "I need to talk to you, L.T." Savannah hugged Alex and said, "I'll be by later, okay? Be sure and get plenty of rest, and don't forget to eat." She smiled and turned to Baird, "Let's go."

Baird and Savannah started walking back toward her house. She had her hands in her pockets and she was staring at the ground. Baird finally said, "I found something at the hospital that gives us a lead on who did this." Savannah opened the door to her house, turned to Baird and said, "Oh yeah? What's that?" Baird handed her the piece of debris. She looked down at it, and her eyes widened with shock. She looked up at Baird. He was watching her closely. She sighed and sat down on the couch. Baird sat across from her in Marcus' chair. He said, "Care to explain how you know him?" Savannah looked up at him and said, "I know you don't understand why I never mentioned knowing him, and I owe you an explanation for that, but you're going to have to promise me that you will hear me out and not go off half-cocked when I'm finished."

Baird sat back and watched her. She put her legs underneath her and closed her eyes. When she opened them, she had tears just ready to fall. She looked at him, but he could tell she wasn't focused on him. She started to say something, but then closed her eyes again. She took a deep breath and said, "My mother was in her teens when she met my father. I don't know who he is, but I know they were close for several years. When she was 19, she got pregnant with me." She smiled at Baird and said, "Two years later, she got pregnant again. My dad wasn't ever around. In fact, she left her job when she got pregnant the second time, and we stayed gone until my sibling was about three." Baird's eyebrows were raised in question, and Savannah giggled when she saw his facial expression.

She continued, "I don't remember much about my childhood except that my Mom was gone a lot. She had a job with the COG, but I don't know exactly what she did." Savannah got up and went to the kitchen. She talked as she made coffee. "I remember her telling me how important it was that I never tell anybody where we lived. I had to keep a lot of secrets for her." Savannah moved to get the milk from the refrigerator. "She was assigned to a specific place, but she wasn't able to take me and my sibling with her. We had to stay with an aunt. I never saw her after her transfer. Then E-Day happened and I never looked back. My sibling ran away after the locust appeared. Not too long before Adam Fenix ended the locust war, I found out some information that led me to find someone I thought was dead."

Baird came into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. Savannah turned to him and said, "I found my brother." Baird's eyes widened in surprise and he said, "Wait-are you telling me that Lyle is your brother?" He frowned as he waited for her to answer. She took two cups out of the cabinet and put them on the counter. After she had filled them both with coffee, she handed one to Baird and answered, "Yes, he's my brother, and I'm telling you, he is not responsible for this." Baird scoffed at her and said, "Just because he's your brother doesn't mean he isn't capable of murdering people. I've seen what that son-of-a-bitch is willing to do to make his point."

Savannah went back into the living room and sat back down on the couch. Baird took a seat next to her. She turned toward him, pulling her leg under her. She watched Baird for a few seconds and quietly said, "I know. I've seen what he's capable of too, Baird, and I understand why you're concerned, and you want to know if I know where he is, right?" Baird took a drink of coffee and said, "Yeah, that's exactly what I want to know, but I also have another question-why didn't you tell me about him?" She looked past Baird, into her dining room, and said, "I've only ever told one person, and I only told him because he mentioned the debacle on Vectes. I never told anybody else because you know how the stranded were about leverage. I didn't want anything to happen to him"

Baird grimaced at the mention of Vectes. "I hated that place, but I made some good friends there. I lost some good friends too." Savannah smiled at him and said, "I heard about Eugen. I'm sorry. I know you carry guilt over that." Baird started to say something, but Savannah put her hand up to quiet him. She said, "I know, I know- you're heart is made of stone. Blah, blah, blah." Baird smirked at her and said, "So, where is your brother?" Savannah glared at him. She slammed her coffee cup down on the small table beside her and said, "I wouldn't tell you even if I did know. I know how you are about the Stranded, and I will not put him in that position, Baird."

Baird's face started to turn red and Savannah knew she had pissed him off. It didn't matter. Lyle was her brother, and she knew Baird had already tried, convicted, and sentenced him- all because he was a Stranded leader at one time. She waited for Baird to calm himself down. He gave her a dirty look and said, "I get that he's your family, but so were the people who died today; or so I thought." She stood up, put her hands on her hips, and glared down at him. He stood up with his hands hanging at his side. He glared back at her. She took a step toward him and quietly said, "How can you say that to me? My only focus when those explosions happened was finding _you_." She took an even closer step toward him, and he took a step toward her. Suddenly, the air was electric between them. Both of them stood there staring at each other.


	20. Chapter 20

Baird closed the space between them faster than Savannah could move. He grabbed her and kissed her roughly. She knew she should push him away, but the fire in her chest would only allow her to kiss him back. He moved his hands down to her hips and pulled her to him. He stopped kissing her long enough to wrap his hands in her hair and whisper to her, "Please don't turn me away. I need you." Savannah let him kiss her again, but stopped him and softly said, "I'm in love with Marcus. How would you feel if the tables were turned?" Baird grabbed her around the waist, picked her up, and sat down on the couch. She had no choice but to straddle him.

His hands were on her low back. The chemistry between them was dynamic. He looked into her eyes, leaned forward and kissed her. She put her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed herself away from him. He tightened his grip around her waist and said again, "Please, Savannah, don't reject me. Please." All at once, the door to Savannah's house opened and Marcus walked through the door. When he saw the two of them on the couch, his eyes moved between them, and he stopped. Neither Baird nor Savannah moved. Marcus looked at Savannah and said, "I'll be in the mess hall. Do what you need to do." He turned and walked out the door.

Savannah realized she had been holding her breath. She took a deep breath and put her head on Baird's shoulder. He kept his hands on her hips and waited for her to lift her head. When she finally looked at him, he gave her a sexy smile and said, "Do what you need to do." She didn't move to climb off of his lap. Instead, she kissed Baird with an urgency that surprised even him. He wrapped his arms around her and changed his position, pulling her down to lay against his chest. She pushed herself up to look at him and said, "I have to go. I hope you understand." Baird let go of her and said, "Yeah, I get it." He pushed her off of him and stood up. When Savannah stood up, she opened her mouth to say something, but he stopped her. "Save it, Savannah. Go talk to Marcus." He walked past her and out the door. She put her head in her hands and let out an exasperated sigh. "What am I doing?" she whispered to herself.

She walked to the mess hall to find Marcus. She noticed Baird going up the hill behind his house; the same place she had told JD about her and Marcus. When she got to the mess hall, Marcus was sitting alone at a table in the back, drinking a cup of coffee. Savannah sat down across from him and smiled. He set his cup on the table, folded his hands and stared at her. She reached out and put her hands over his. She never took her eyes off his face. He finally spoke, "You don't have to say anything. I know what happened back there." She tilted her head and asked, "What exactly is it you think was happening back there?" He bent forward, looked her in the eyes and said, "The same thing that happened the night we slept together for the first time, so don't apologize."

Savannah watched him. His eyes were scanning the mess hall as if he were expecting a horde of locust to ambush the place. She picked up a napkin, started tearing pieces off it, and said to Marcus, "Yep, you're right, that's exactly what happened; with the exception that, unlike me and Baird, you didn't want to rip my clothes off every second you were around me." Marcus arched his brow at her. She continued, "I couldn't do it, Marcus. I love you too much to hurt you like that." Marcus' facial expression never changed, but Savannah knew he was hearing every single word she was saying. She continued, "Besides, none of it felt right. I might have a lot of chemistry with Baird, but my heart doesn't belong to him anymore. It belongs to you." Marcus gazed at her with his blue eyes. She watched him pick up his coffee cup, take a drink and set it back down. When he looked up at her, his eyes had softened and he said, "If you had slept with him, I would have understood. It wouldn't have hurt me."

Savannah slammed her hands down on the table. Marcus jumped at the sound and glared at her. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he exclaimed. She scowled back and finally said, "It _should_ hurt you. Someone who claims to be in love with you kisses an old flame, and you say it's easy to understand?" She put her head in her hands and put her elbows on the table. Marcus patiently waited for her to gather her thoughts. He could tell she was on the edge of either pulling herself together or grabbing a bottle of alcohol and losing herself in a drunken bender. He had to keep her from doing anything stupid.

He finally said to her, "Now you know why I carry guilt over what happened between us all those years ago. I was in love with Anya, and I slept with someone else. I felt guilty, just like you do right now." Marcus stood up to leave, but then he squatted down and whispered in her ear, "Don't be angry at yourself. I could tell when I walked in that you wouldn't have sex with him. I could see it in your eyes. I know you, remember?" He kissed her hair and walked away. Savannah sat at the table for a few more minutes before she went to see Sam. Whether she was conscious or not, Savannah was going to tell Sam what had happened with Baird. Sam would show the same respect to her, so she attached her Lancer to her back and walked out of the mess hall.


	21. Chapter 21

Baird had decided to climb the hill and sit at the lookout. He needed the quiet so he could think. Savannah rejecting him had hurt, but he also understood why she did it. He knew how much she loved Marcus. He had seen that look in her eyes before. She and Baird had always had strong chemistry, and it was hard to fight, but deep down- Baird was glad she had stopped them from making a mistake. He would never be able to look Marcus in the eyes, and the thought of hurting Sam made his stomach turn. How could he even think about hurting her like that? When he got to the top of the hill, he came to a sudden stop. Alex Brand was sitting there, her legs crossed, crying.

Baird wasn't sure what to do. He cleared his throat and said, "Uh, sorry, I didn't know you were here. I'll leave." Alex wiped her eyes and said, "No, it's okay. I'll go. It's your land. I should have asked first." She started to get up, but Baird stopped her. "You don't have to leave, Alex. It's a nice place to think...or cry." He gave her a half-smile. She stared at him for a few seconds and said, "You can sit down, Baird. I won't bite you. I'm too tired to argue with you." Baird shrugged his shoulders and sat down a few feet away from Alex. He started pulling some of the clover that was in full bloom. He took a deep breath and let it out slow. Alex turned to him and said, "How's Sam? Is she awake yet?" Baird shook his head no and stared out at the base's wall. Without looking at Alex, he said, "She probably won't be for a few days. Rick has her in a medically induced coma so her body can recover." Alex nodded her understanding and stared out at the same view Baird was watching.

They sat in silence for a while. Finally, Alex turned to Baird and asked him, "How are you dealing with this so well? I mean, I know you aren't the most caring guy in the world, but this has to be hard for you." Baird glared at her before he said, "I'm not a cold-hearted bastard, Alex. I do care about people, you know; especially Sam." Alex shifted her position so she was now facing Baird. He glanced at her, but then turned back and kept staring straight ahead. He asked her, "How are you doing? I know you have to be feeling like shit." Alex glared at him and said, "Yes, Baird. I am feeling like shit. I decided a long time ago to change who I was as a person. I decided to be nice, kind and caring." She clenched her hands into fists and started to cry as she continued, "In the process, I fell in love with my best friend. We were finally going to get married, and now he's dead, Baird." She pushed herself up off the ground and started to walk away, but Baird stood up too, and grabbed her by her arm. She turned to slap him, but before she could, Baird hugged her to him.

Alex did her best to push herself away from him, but he held her tight. She started pounding on his chest and screaming, "HE'S DEAD, BAIRD! HE'S DEAD!" Baird held her even tighter, and she finally collapsed in his arms, sobbing. Through her tears she asked, "What am I going to do without him? I don't think I can do this alone." The more she cried, the tighter Baird hugged her. She finally said, "Will you please stop squeezing me?" Baird loosened his grip on her but didn't let her go. She stood in Baird's arms and continued to cry. Baird finally whispered to her, "It's not easy to deal with. I'm scared shitless." Alex put her arms around Baird and hugged him tight. They stood in silence for several minutes. Alex pulled away from him, wiped her nose with her sleeve and said, "Thanks, Baird, and I'm sorry. I know you're not a callous bastard. You used to be, but Sam has changed you."

Baird backed away from her and sat back down in the clover. Alex sat down next to him, and leaned back on her hands. Baird picked some more clover and quietly said, "I don't know what I'll do if something happens to her. I can't imagine how you feel right now." Alex turned and looked at him. She saw his eyes fill with tears and, out of habit, she said, "Oh suck it up, at least you're not planning a funeral." Baird threw the clover at her. She picked a handful and threw it back at him. They both smiled and Baird said, "I almost slept with Savannah today." Alex gasped so loud that Baird jumped. Her mouth was hanging open. He started laughing at her. She threw more clover at him, and said, "What happened? I thought she only had eyes for Fenix." Baird scoffed and said, "She does. She stopped me from making a huge mistake. I thought it's what I wanted, but I'm glad she stopped."

Alex looked at Baird's profile. He was kind of hot. He might be bald, but it suited him. He looked good with a goatee. She smiled and said, "I can see why you two were a thing. She's drop dead gorgeous, smart, fiery and doesn't take shit from anybody." Baird looked over at her, shook his head and said, "Yeah, when I first met her, she told me to go to hell." He chuckled at the memory but then said, "I broke her heart." Alex turned to him again and asked, "Do you still love her?" Baird raised his head and squinted at the sun. He took awhile to answer, but finally he responded, "I always will. She was my first crush. She's the first person I ever had sex with." Alex rolled her eyes at that, but deep down, she thought it was sweet. He continued, "I know I am in love with Sam, but Savannah and I have always been attracted to each other. It almost cost us both something today, and that's where you're right; she is smart. Smart enough to keep me from being a dipshit"

Alex stood up and went over to sit by Baird. He looked sideways at her, but didn't move. She turned to Baird and said, "Listen, I know what's happening right now is hard, but she's going to be okay. I remember when Drew was in the hospital with smoke inhalation, and I thought he was going to die. Just remember that she loves you. When she wakes up, she'll be happy you're there. Cherish her, Baird, because anything can happen at any moment and you could lose her for good." Baird turned to Alex and stared at her. Eventually he said, "Thanks. You wanna go get a drink? It'll take your mind off Drew and you can let loose for a little bit. I promise you'll get home safely and I'll be a gentleman." He grinned at her and she said, "Yeah, right! You and the word 'gentleman' do not go together in a sentence." She was laughing at him, but he took as a joke. Baird stood up and held out his hand to help Alex up off the ground.


	22. Chapter 22

Savannah was sitting next to Sam's bed, holding her hand. Sam's breathing was relaxed but shallow. The beeping wasn't easy to tune out, but Savannah made herself overlook the sound. She felt terrible about what happened with Baird. Sam would probably be a little upset, but Savannah knew the two of them could talk it out. Sam knew Savannah would never intentionally do something to hurt her, although she almost had. Savannah cursed at herself. You backstabber! How could you! The door to Sam's room opened up and Carmine walked in. He stopped when he saw Savannah. She smiled up at him and said, "Hi Clay, what's goin' on?" He smacked her in the arm with the back of his hand and said, "Hi ya, Boss. Marcus is looking for you. He figured you'd be here since you weren't at home. You go find him and I'll sit with her." Savannah stood up and patted Carmine on the back. "Let me know if anything changes with her." Carmine winked at her and waved. Savannah took off to find Marcus.

Just as she rounded the corner, she saw movement to her left, but before she could see what it was, she was thrown back, a searing pain in her right side. She tried to sit up, but the pain was too much. She screamed, "Dammit! What the hell!" Savannah saw someone lean over her. It was Jace. He bent down and started to look her over. "L.T., lay still! I called Rick. He's on his way." She grabbed her side and started to get up. Jace said, "No way, L.T.! Stay down!" She threw his hands off her and tried again to stand up. Before she could move, Marcus was at her side. "Savannah, stay still, dammit! You've been shot." She looked around and asked Marcus, "Who in the hell shot me?" Marcus looked down at her, stared at her and finally said, "Baird". Savannah put her head back down and started to cry. "Why would he shoot me?" she sobbed, "That bastard!" Marcus helped her sit up and said, "He and Alex thought it would be fun to get drunk and play with a long shot."

Right then, Baird ran up to her. "Oh my God, Oh my God! Savannah, are you alright?" Rick showed up and pushed Baird out of the way as he said, "Move your ass, Baird! What is wrong with you, jackass?" He scowled at Baird. All Baird could do was watch what was happening. He was unsteady on his feet, but he managed to keep from falling. Alex ran up beside him and started apologizing, "Oh shit! We're so sorry, Savannah. Oh God, what have we done?" Marcus stood up and grabbed Baird by his arm. He pulled Baird away from the situation and yelled, "What the fuck is wrong with you, Baird! What were you thinking? You could have killed her!" The look on Marcus' face made Baird back up a step. The two of them watched each other for several seconds. Marcus took a step toward Baird and said through gritted teeth, "I swear to God, Baird, if you ever do something this stupid again, I will kill you myself!" He walked away, leaving Baird standing alone, swaying back and forth.

Marcus walked back to Rick's side. Rick turned to Marcus and said, "She'll be just fine. It only grazed her, but it's bleeding like hell. I need to get her stitched up." Marcus nodded at him and bent down to help Savannah up off the ground. He put his arm around her, but changed his mind and lifted her up in his arms. As he walked past Baird, she reached out and grabbed Baird's hand. She looked up at him and said, "I'll be fine, but you need to get a hold of yourself, Blue. Come and see me after I get back home." Baird closed his eyes, gripped her hand and said, "Yeah, okay." Marcus pushed past him and carried Savannah all the way to the hospital.

Marcus stayed with her while Rick stitched her up. She never made a sound, and Marcus couldn't believe how strong she was. He was immediately hit with the realization that her strength was one of the things he...loved about her. If he had to describe her, he would choose words like grit, guts, fiery, strong. She loves with a passion that is unmatched. When he looked up, she was watching him. She smiled at him, and he reached for her hand. Rick was putting the dressing on her, and he broke their stare when he said, "You know the drill, Savannah. Keep it dry, stitches out in seven to ten days, and no vigorous activity for a few days. He looked pointedly at Marcus when he said that. Marcus said, "I'll make sure she takes care of herself." Rick patted him on the shoulder and smiled at Savannah. "Come see me if you have any problems, okay?" She nodded at him and moved to put her shirt back on.

Marcus grabbed it and helped her slip it over her head. She winced slightly when she put her arm up to slip it into her sleeve. Marcus gently helped her slide the shirt down over her stitches. Savannah sighed and said, "I need to go home. Make sure Baird comes to see me." Marcus grunted and said, "He'll be lucky if I don't knock him out." Savannah started chuckling and told Marcus, "I get where you're coming from, but let me talk to him. I'll give him what for, don't worry." Marcus helped her down off the exam table. She let him put his arm around her and help her walk. As she was walking to the exit door, Cole came running up to her. He was out of breath, but managed to say, "Oh shit, L.T.! You okay? I'm gonna throttle Baird!" Savannah laughed at him and said, "No worries, Cole Train. Like I told Marcus, let me talk to him."

Savannah was sitting comfortably on the couch when Baird showed up. Marcus opened the door, turned, and walked away. He grabbed his Lancer and walked past Baird to the door. He turned around and said to Savannah, "I'll be following up on Lyle. Call my radio if you need anything." He glared at Baird and walked out the door. She patted the spot next to her on the couch. Baird looked wary, but sat down anyway. He looked at Savannah expecting to see fury in her eyes; instead, he saw her eyes were full of tears. He couldn't do anything but stare at her. She finally reached out her hand and placed it on his cheek. He closed his eyes. She smiled at him when he opened his eyes to look at her. She laid her head back on the pillow she was leaning against and said, "I know you didn't mean to shoot me, Baird, so stop looking like you've lost your favorite puppy." He watched her for a few seconds before he said, "I'm sorry, Skinny. I really am. I can't believe I was so stupid. I could have killed you." He shut his eyes again, but Savannah put her hand on his forearm and said, "Stop, Baird. Don't do this to yourself. If anything, it's my fault. I turned you away when you needed me. I should have stayed here so we could talk." Baird started shaking his head at her. "No!" he said, "I am the one who got drunk and started shooting a sniper rifle; with Alex Brand of all people!"

Savannah laughed at him and said, "How did that happen? You two have never really been friends." Baird shrugged and said, "She was at the lookout when I went up there. We had a nice conversation. She gave me some good advice, and I took her to get drunk so she could forget about Drew for awhile." Savannah's eyebrows went up in surprise and she quipped, "And you two thought alcohol and a sniper rifle was a good combination?" Baird smirked at her and said, "Yeah, well, we wanted to let off some steam. I'm sure you can understand that." Savannah went to say something, but stopped. Baird raised his eyebrow at her. She started giggling and said, "I can neither confirm nor deny that I have done the same stupid thing." Baird's mouth fell open and she burst out laughing. When she winced in pain, Baird scooted over and asked, "Are you alright?" He put his hand on Savannah's side. She looked up at him. He stared back at her.


End file.
